Why Closure Is a Lesson For All Souls

Death is a means of closure, or so we may think, but is it really? Whether it’s finding closure on a betrayal, a relationship separation, an argument between friends, or a family feud—Souls of all ages will encounter lessons of closure at some point in their incarnation. It’s never easy, and how do you know if and when you have closure? Is closure forgiveness or does it require more? What if it’s guilt? Is it more than forgiving yourself, and what if you can’t?

I was recently reminded of this when an old best friend’s mother died, and as lovely as she was, she never seemed to have had closure on her divorce, or the issues with her daughter. On occasions she would act irrationally, but in hindsight it was a means to protect herself, and to assert her position to prevent her feeling the pain of the divorce. At times when we have been wronged, it is hard to find that strength to forgive and get closure. While divorce is a means toward closure, it’s only a legal matter and the emotional issues can linger for decades. Former spouses still end up in games of tit for tat, or find ways to punish one another when an opportunity arises subconsciously. That hinders actual closure.

These days with social media and the internet, people tend to think if they delete a profile or unfriend someone on Facebook then that gives them closure. Often it doesn’t as the resentment remains, or people delete things as a quick fix because they don’t like something or wish to face it. A friend of mine has a habit of deleting everything they don’t like in attempt to have closure, however, you can’t have true closure through escape. Pretending something never happened or that has been erased doesn’t mean it didn’t exist. Rather than closure, it’s more of a denial.

Some people who are terminally ill may feel a need to get closure on things before they leave, while others (usually younger souls) may not feel they have to. But what about those who are still alive and who weren’t able to get closure from someone who has transitioned? That is where reincarnation comes in, and whatever transpired will reoccur in the next incarnation so the issue can be resolved and closure can be achieved.

Family feuds are one the issues that binds people together when death occurs. There is an unspoken obligation to inform other family members (even if they have never spoken to one another) when someone has died. However, while people do consider blood to be thicker and a bond, more families live far away, lose contact, and barely know one another except for a shared surname and ancestors. How does one get closure on family matters when there is no communication? Perhaps that’s a reason why more Souls tend to reincarnate together because closure wasn’t achieved on all sides?

For many that have loved and lost, learning to accept closure on a failed relationship is both painful, and also leads to a feeling of failure. The burning of letters, deleting their texts, and throwing out their possessions maybe acts of closure, but often they are done in anger to try and remove the presence of that person. Some move on quickly to another relationship on the rebound to compensate for those feelings, but unless they have had closure it may lead to the same situation again. There is no magic time frame or formula for closure to be achieved, because it’s only possible when each Soul is ready to accept what has happened without resentment or anger. In real life that can stretch to years, and emotions aren’t things you can always control or be rational about.

Even when friendships drift apart or end due to disagreements, it’s hard to accept that someone you have known no longer will be in or wishes to be a part of your life. In a sense it’s rejection and loss, and closure can be hard because deep down we hope rifts can be mended. While that hope remains, the Soul doesn’t want or seek closure, even though it maybe inevitable. I like to think of friends as those who care about you unconditionally, and there will be fallouts and arguments, but that is natural. Choosing to end a friendship (a true one) is as major as a relationship, because one chooses friends unlike family members, and that loss can be greater when there is no justifiable reason.

Closure on issues can take years, and often it’s subconscious as any anger, resentment or pain slowly erodes, or distractions have occurred to prevent any dwelling on the issues. Saying you have had closure and actually feeling you have had closure are very different things. It’s more than letting things go, but having a deeper understanding of why something had to happen, its purpose, and what you have learnt from it (whether good or bad). When you can talk about the incidents that need closure without anger and remorse, then you have true closure.

It takes time (maybe the entire incarnation) because that’s one of the greatest lessons each Soul learns during an incarnation; how to get closure and to know when they have actually achieved it, because they have learnt a Soul Lesson. Some however don’t get closure, and they end an incarnation with outstanding issues. They then have a choice to reincarnate immediately to get closure, or to seek guidance if they don’t feel ready for closure and need time to heal. Even in death, there is no guarantee of closure because Souls are eternal. It’s with this knowledge (or theory for those who struggle with this belief) that encourages me to find closure wherever possible, and it comes with learning to be more understanding and tolerant of others. Another option is prevent the need for closure in the first place, but that’s not always possible, and something that Old and Ancient Souls prefer to do if they can.

Some Ancient Soul Musings

The start of a New Year usually is a relief to many when we see all the predictable ads for gyms, and the stores laden with fitness gadgets, yet people still buy into it! This year I feel will be unsettled, and while we leave behind 2016; a year with a high death count of the well-known, I see that as a mere taster for what is to come. People die, we know that, and the sheer volume of well-known deaths in the past year reminds us that life is transient and death is inevitable. One always wonders whether the Souls concerned had achieved all their goals, or that the ones they were seeking were not longer possible.

One of the best things that has happened is my reconnection with an old spiritual friend, whom I hope will share some of her amazing art work and thoughts here. She was around when I was reawakening, and we’ve been through some tough times together and supported one another. I’ve also been reminded with my recent charge, that we can’t save everyone, and even when lessons are obvious to a Lightworker, it’s not apparent to the charge. I decided to spell out the lesson, and then asked my charge last night if she had learned. She agreed I was right, but said she hadn’t learned her lesson. At that point I stated that it was pointless helping someone if they are not willing to learn, phrased as a rhetorical question. Today the charge is in hospital, and maybe then they will see the importance of learning, rather than seeing her actions as juvenile determination (she is 67, but physical age has no bearing on Soul Age). My words may have been cruel in the eyes of some, but honest and direct; I told her she doesn’t have a broken leg that can be healed, but a deteriorating terminal illness and that she needs to take responsibility and accept that.

As an Ancient Soul, it can be frustrating watching and listening to others make errors that can be avoided. While some ask for advice, the problem is you can’t tell people what they need to discover through experience. How can you know that love can lead to heartbreak when you have never truly experienced it, or how it feels or how to react when someone has betrayed you? No book or agony aunt can tell you how to feel, but can advise you on your options. On a spiritual forum that I sometimes frequent, I have noticed more arrogant members and egotistical posts, and indeed the admins seem to carry that same attitude. It does concern me that people behave in such a manner and think it’s normal or acceptable, but it reminds me that each Soul learns in their own way and at their own pace. It is best to ignore those who are not ready to listen or seek help; what they consider to be help is not usually the help that is offered. Assistance comes in many forms, but those who want short cut answers will be oblivious to what is in front of them. No one is entitled to help, but some assume they have a right to it. Help is offered as and when, and if that person feels the other will benefit. Just because I know and can help, doesn’t mean that I must or will. That is called discernment and free will, as well as being sensible. Why would I wish to help someone who is rude and disrespectful, because all it does is feed their ego, which doesn’t help with their soul growth and takes up my time and energy?

Spiritualism appears to be more commercial as people look for answers, reasons, and blame for why things have happened. Often these people who are dissatisfied with their lot and need someone or something to blame, and spiritualism is not the answer. Many don’t wish to hear things unless it suits them, therefore, why do they ask the question if they don’t want to hear the answer? I always say, don’t ask unless you are ready and prepared to hear the truth. However, reading what many consider to be normal allows me to respond to their behaviors in my own writings, and reminds me that there are many folks who assume they are spiritual (because they have read a few books and can quote others), and perhaps they are in their own minds. The Spiritual Path doesn’t always reveal answers, but it enables one to ask the right questions.

My own path is a little weary, and while I see the world in disarray, the USA is about to validate a dangerous and unworthy leader. Power can be dangerous, and while many people adopt the ‘let’s wait and see’ approach and hope to be surprised, the wise will look at damage limitation. Right now, Narnia seems to be a better place to be. Humanity seems to make the same mistakes over and over again, and isn’t learning…

Are You Too Young To Be Spiritual?

At what age should spiritualism be explained or introduced to a Soul? To some people it’s seen as hokey cokey and woo woo stuff, and to others it is a way of life, or being spiritual has a meaning to them. I wasn’t brought up with spiritual people around me—religious yes, but not spiritual, and my becoming spiritual was a conscious choice I made around my mid-thirties.

However, it wasn’t as if I suddenly decided I was going to be spiritual overnight. That isn’t to say that I didn’t have spiritual experiences from an early age, because I did—I just didn’t understand them. It was a slow and gradual process, where I faced doubts and challenges until things started to form a picture that made sense only to me. I do have concerns over new Souls that are introduced to spirituality and a spiritual way of life too early on, and not being given a choice to follow that path. There is a difference between being shown a spiritual way, and only knowing a spiritual way of life. Each of us should make a conscious decision and understand the implications of what spirituality entails before we accept it as a way of life. Of course people do dabble in spirituality, and follow some beliefs and not others, and while that can lead to a spiritual path, it is still a choice.

It also depends on what you define as spiritual. People who use tarot cards, runes, numerology, astrology, or meditation may see that as spiritual, and the media may classify it as such. I don’t see the need to classify, and I know people who meditate and who follow astrology that aren’t particularly spiritual in my opinion. I’ve spoken to some people who told me they were brought up surrounded by spirituality due to a parent being a tarot card reader or psychic, but is that right to expect a child to accept your beliefs and chosen way of life? Shouldn’t it be a choice each person makes when they have the facts available to them? Some of them consider this to be helpful and feel they are more spiritually experienced, but have they really chosen or not?

In hindsight, if someone explained to me what spirituality was, what the things I saw were, or that my Soul was a reincarnation of another Soul as a five-year-old, would it have helped or hindered me? I can only speak from my own experience, and I don’t think it would have been fair on my growth or the innocence of my childhood. Spirituality is a serious topic and not one that a child can fully grasp, even if they have intuitive gifts. Perhaps having someone to guide them rather than to expect them to be spiritual is a better way to do things? Somehow I knew what I saw, heard, and felt was something not to be discussed, and it was for me to discover—it was my journey, and I had to choose the pace and when I wanted to embark on it, or postpone it.

I have met a couple of teenagers who I knew were spiritual, yet I chose not to say too much to them because they needed to discover things for themselves. Becoming spiritual at a young physical age can cause damage and confusion when one hasn’t experienced things, or grows to expect things through manifestation or other means. Spirituality owes us nothing, and the general premise is that some of us have the ability to see things beyond the human perception. It’s possible, but one must remember that there are always several probable outcomes and nothing is definitive. Having too high spiritual expectations negates the spiritual path, and that is one of the problems those who are new on the path face. Mass media promotes all kind of promises, and spiritual websites tell people if they do x, y, or z then this can happen. That is simply not true, as there is a greater power out there that has already laid out the paths to choose from.

One can be old physically, yet spiritually young as they awaken later in life, or a physically young person could be brought up in a spiritual family, but not actually be spiritual at all, except on the surface. People can also be spiritual without any gifts—I have friends who are spiritual and have no gifts they are aware of or limited gifts. They tend to see themselves as less spiritual when they are not. Having a gift doesn’t automatically confer spiritual rights. In my considered opinion, it would be irresponsible to encourage a child to follow spirituality unless they need guidance with their gifts, or to expect them to follow a spiritual way of life with no choice. That moves into cult territory, and which is why people see spirituality as a cult or as brainwashing. I don’t blame them either, which is why spiritual people who are parents should not force their beliefs onto their children. It’s like a parent choosing which religion a child should follow; traditionally they follow the religion and politics of the parent, but is that fair or right? Often when children are able to understand the differences they make their own choice (or rebel) and the same should be for spiritual beliefs. Guide, don’t dictate, and allow a spiritual path to be a conscious and informed decision.

The Pain Of Soulmates And The Soul Group

I’ve recently finished reading Brida, by Paulo Coelho, and it was a timely reminder that people are often misguided in the myth that Soulmates only bring happiness and joy. I don’t believe in the concept of a single Soulmate, but that each Soul has several within the Soul Group, and that each one serves a different purpose. The novel follows the path of Brida, who is searching for her Soulmate and believes it will complete her and help her understand life. It also follows the thoughts of the Magus (one of her teachers) who is also in search of his Soulmate, and when he does find her, his lesson is to learn to let her go. This was a second chance for him; to learn from a mistake he made in his youth.

Why is it that society conditions us from a young age to find a Soulmate and to settle down? That people are conditioned into believing it is the key to happiness, and that it is an achievement? The truth is, the Soulmate concept is much more complex than settling down with a partner for life. There are so many myths as to what role a Soulmate should serve, but it’s not the rejoining of two parts of a Soul in my opinion, but is when a Soul that has been part of another Soul’s existence appears, and it feels as if they are a part of the Soul because it is so familiar. Soulmates often know how the other will feel and react, and that means that they know when they are happy (or what will make them happy) or are in pain, but also what can hurt them. In that respect it can be a dangerous power, because although we would like to think no Soulmate would deliberately wish to to harm another, it can happen subconsciously.

Many believe that love is the greatest force and power, which is why people spend money and time (on dating sites) in search of love and their Soulmate, but it’s not the answer. It can make you feel good about yourself for a while, but love isn’t consistent, and people fall in and out of love. People seem to have a need to be loved and wanted, but money can’t buy true love, although it can buy attention. People remain in relationships out of fear of being alone, or prefer a compromise where there is security; neither are based on love.

The novel deals with the issue of being in love with more than one person at a time—is that possible, and that more than one Soulmate will appear at the same time? The answer is ‘yes’ and it’s not easy to deal with. There is no easy answer—do you walk away from both, or pick the one that is practical? What I have learned is that if you love someone but your actions cause them pain, then you should let them go and walk away. In reality, it’s not easy though, but one can still love from afar. A Soulmate should still allow the other to choose their own path, even if it means loneliness and pain for the other. That is true love, and although it may seem cryptic, that’s because it’s a lesson that is so personal, one can only truly understand it when they have been faced with the situation.

I speak from experience; a Soulmate of mine would not let me go, yet he could not be with me and while he loved me, he was also inadvertently hurting me and holding back my path. I don’t feel he did it out of selfishness, and so I chose to walk away (a second time). By not letting me go, it prevented me from finding or acknowledging other Soulmates that may have crossed my path. I could not force him to be on the correct path, so I followed an alternate one of my own. Eventually he freed himself on his blocked path, and he later admitted he didn’t want to hurt me anymore than he may have done which is why he did not let me go. This was my second chance, and yet I chose to walk away again–the first time through a yearn for freedom, and the second, again for freedom of a different kind. The pull of the presence of a Soulmate can be compelling and addictive, and in that respect is a dangerous kind of power.

Soulmates can bring about great happiness and the darkest pain at the same time. Can you forgive them easily? Usually you can; he has forgiven me countless times, and I have not held grudges against him, but was disappointed in his lies even though they were to protect me from harm. That doesn’t mean the pain they create is less in anyway, or that it can be healed quickly. My advice is to not get misled into the belief that a Soulmate is the only option, or to expect too much. There can be times of shared bonding, but that they have the power to alter, and block your path when love gets confused with the expectations of the physical realm. While divorce and separations are never easy to deal with, one needs to accept it is a natural fabric of life; when people die, they will be parted eventually.

Maybe the lesson is to learn to let a Soulmate go, perhaps to experience the pain of losing love, or to learn how to cope with a forbidden love that may not be socially acceptable on the physical realm? Those are some of the other roles of a Soulmate in the Soul Group besides being a companion in an incarnation. Soulmate interactions are powerful—more powerful that the emotion and impact of love. Don’t under estimate their power and ability to change your path.

The Rights Of The Soul

As a historian I am always fascinated to look at the family trees of others (my own is impossible as there are no records, and any that existed were destroyed in a civil war), and see if there are any patterns, perhaps a Soul reincarnating into the same family over and over for a reason? However, we must be realistic about things, and when we do choose to reincarnate we pick out the favorite characteristics that we wish to have, and also how we look, even though that maybe genetically defined. Then the question arises as to whether descendants have any right to decide over what their ancestors may or may not wish for when something is questioned in retrospect, particularly when it involves a scandal or a dubious act. Would they want a previously unknown child to have their name, a mistress to have access to the family, or to apologize for an act on their behalf? It’s not their Soul, but on the physical plane, a descendant is considered to have some moral claim or rights by way of the bloodline, or do they? Is that something we assume or have created as a right here on the physical plane?

This issue has arisen in several cases I have looked at, and in particular the Salem Witch Trials. The descendants of the victims who were not exonerated did follow up and pursue this in the courts for their ancestors. Many felt it was their duty to dos so and as the cases were proven to be biased and unfair trials, there is no evidence to prove that any of them were witches. I am sure the Souls of those who were killed are grateful to their descendants, but what if those Souls had reincarnated themselves and not into the same family line to help the process along in any case? Wouldn’t they have more of a right to have a say in justice? Perhaps they did fight, and no one knew. Souls find a way, either through reincarnating in the family line, or in a position where they may have more of a say, maybe a journalist or a judge?

The fact is, in our prior lives we will all have had some instances where we were cruel, unkind, deceitful, unfaithful, and more than likely have harmed another physically and mentally. We need to accept that harsh truth, and that our ancestors were probably not perfect and did some bad things too. I did a reading for someone once, and suggested that the Soul whom they were trying to assist wanted to face their alcoholism, and thus they may meet people in this incarnation to learn from it. Thus by helping another Soul it could help the Soul in spirit to come to terms with the addiction as a mirroring effect. It was a plausible theory, but it also showed me that the sitter didn’t want to hear or accept that their ancestor had been an alcoholic, and thus that broke the link. At times, Souls may ask descendants to help them release adverse karma, as this is one way if they have been stuck, but a Soul must accept that their ancestors had flaws. If they don’t, they cannot assist them, and any link is usually weakened as a result.

On a personal level, when I was told in a prior life I had ordered the death of a Soul who is now a relative of mine, I didn’t want to believe I could do such a thing. However, once that memory was triggered, I knew it was true and I acknowledge that a ruthless part of me still exists. That’s the important thing to remember about past lives; we must accept the bad things we did as well as the good. As a child I was ruthless in a practical manner, but kind at the same time, and is a trait I still carry today. I don’t go around ordering people to be beheaded, but when I worked in recruitment I never hesitated to fire people who lied or I knew were lazy. That’s just being practical, and perhaps a toned down version of what I was before. I accepted I made errors in the past, and now I act with a little more empathy. I give people a chance now, but there is no second chance, and I make that clear.

Recently, an alleged ancestor of Alexander Hamilton wrote a response regarding the Broadway show Hamilton: An American Musical, condemning it and threatening to sue for defamation (you can’t sue for defamation of a deceased person!). However, another descendant wrote that they enjoyed the show and thought it was excellent. The simple fact is that no one truly knows what Alexander Hamilton would have thought, but the descendant who claimed to want to sue for defamation to protect the family reputation is very misguided and ill informed if they are an actual descendant (it’s only defamation if it can be proven to be untrue, and it can’t because Hamilton admitted he had an affair). Often people wish to put their ancestors on a pedestal, but there will be unknown skeletons that have been buried, and humans are naturally flawed. A descendant has a right to express an opinion like each of us, but no right to determine what their ancestor would have thought, or what action they would wish to take unless it is exoneration. Having read a considerable amount on Alexander Hamilton, most people agree that he would have been honored to have a show in his name, and as a fighter for justice and rights, he may well have suggested that the stage be used as a platform to express the current concerns that the Americans face. The play honors and celebrates Alexander Hamilton’s life and highlights the problems he faced, and with all heroes, there will be character flaws, and Hamilton was human.

Theoretically the Soul has the right to protect its own reputation, and if need be a way will be found; perhaps reincarnating as a lawyer, or maybe in a position of power that can rebalance any injustice from a prior life. Alexander Hamilton was an extraordinary man who overcame many things in life from having no named father, and then becoming an orphan. He had probably seen many injustices, and the kindness of others helped him gain an education, where he as a lawyer helped Loyalists, the very people who were against the Union. I feel the strength of his reputation and honor of his character speaks for itself still to this day, and he simply doesn’t need any of his descendants to speak on his behalf.

The Soul always retains the rights to decide how they wish to address an incident or event, but that may not be so clear to see for all. Descendants have limited rights on the physical plane, and in Hamilton’s case there are hundreds if not thousands of descendants by now, and which one has the right of any at all? The person who posted on Reddit appeared quite right winged, and while people harp on about the Sedition Act that Hamilton signed, as a historian one must look at what context it was signed in, and it was an era where immigration was not controlled (unlike today where you must apply), and thus they needed some means to expel troublemakers. One can defend their ancestors, but can one be impartial? Can the descendants of Hitler or Stalin defend their ancestors in any way that a sane, logical and rational person would accept?