The Emptiness Within And Enduring Triviality

There are some of us that feel an emptiness inside at times, and we search for some meaning or purpose, to life and what surrounds us. We want to know why certain things are so, or why isn’t life fairer. I know it sounds a bit heavy, but some people have jobs to go to, or family to look after, and they don’t think about the meaning of life because they are distracted or have no time. Do we even really need to think about it, or just live it? For some it’s not important and they carry on and seek a balance of pleasure, with paying the bills; that’s life for a huge sector of society, but not for all. Yes, it maybe easier not to think about it, but that doesn’t mean that the questions will stop being asked.

While we may question the purpose of our existence, I don’t rely on God for an explanation, but look at what I wish to achieve in this incarnation. It may sound a little strange not to ask God or a Guide for an answer, but they are not supposed to give us answers, because we need to figure out that part ourselves. We don’t need things to be explained, for if we did, what lessons have we learned? I reflect upon my own incarnation thus far, and I look at the emptiness within. Others may say we should look for gratitude, and look at what we were gifted with, yet I am skeptical of this notion. Are they things that the physical realm considers gifts?

Some may say they are gifted with good health, but that is actually predetermined to an extent, and controllable on the physical plane. Souls maybe born with a disability for a reason, to help them or those around them to learn lessons. Then people can take responsibility to take care of their health, or those who are in good health may have genes that counteract that. What about those born with good looks or financial stability? Again, these are predetermined before an incarnation, so are they gifts when they were already planned? Maybe some spiritual folks will say the love of their family is a gift, but can you measure love, and can you control those around you to love you without manipulation or unconditionally? Love like trust and respect and earned and cannot be bought with actions or material objects. People try, but and it may work for a short period of time, but it’s a case of quid pro quo rather than a conscious action in most cases.

I asked myself the question, “What have I been gifted with?” and to be honest I struggled with a rational answer. In the end it has nothing to do with anything my parents have provided, or anything I have actually done. My gifts are my Soul, my brain, and my morals and ethics. None of these are things that can be bought or transferred, and are what I arrived on this earth with. I value these things more so as I see society crumbling and people around me saying and doing meaningless things, and focusing on petty matters. To them it obviously isn’t meaningless right now, but once they have transitioned they will see how trivial it all was, yet my morals, and ethics will remain with my Soul eternally.

Trivial matters govern the lives of mainly younger souls, the retired, the bored housewife, and the rich whose lives revolve around shopping, eating out and taking vacations. They pick at small matters that only concern them and in fact do no harm, and it’s this wasted energy in the Universe that is defining society and how it functions. Having to deal with these tiring Souls who are petty can be hard work mentally. In the physical realm I wasn’t gifted with much, but had the basics. Most people (including my immediate family) are young souls, and perhaps my role is to help them to learn, because I have been the anchor for all of them since I was a toddler. The spiritual side of me wants to see this as fulfilling, but if I am being honest it’s tiring, mainly unappreciated, and frustrating. It’s a little like an employee who don’t like their bosses but who are stuck with them and put up with it. I’m also going to be honest in that I don’t actually like any of my family, yet I tolerate them and feel responsible for them. There are moments that I stop and let them fall, but then I have to pick up the pieces and so I create more work for myself. That is my emptiness within—that what I do for others, they will not understand or see it.

Being an Old or Ancient Soul is lonely because no one can truly see what really matters, and why I do prefer to be alone to find some solace and balance in knowing what I do is for the bigger picture. An Ancient Soul sees darkness, although they are not attracted to it, at times it can balance things and ground them so they see the reality of what is really around them. In other words, it puts things into perspective, that what many people (not Souls) focus on is meaningless in the long term, and what they don’t focus on could be meaningful in the long term.

For example, people focus on what they look like and while looking clean and tidy is necessary, I’m talking about plastic surgery and the bikini body obsessions that let’s face it when you are dead and buried really isn’t going to matter. Even in a subsequent incarnation it won’t matter because you will have a different body and appearance. Maybe they focus on say being frugal? One hears of people dying and leaving millions while they made do with their living standards or ate frugally. Again, what is the point, while one doesn’t encourage extravagance, what is the point of eating cheap unhealthy food and leaving money to the taxman and to charity? It’s a choice, but is it wise one? Learning to be frugal is necessary for some people, but it does boil down to being controlled by the material and allowing it to define your choices.

Ironically, what people choose not to focus on because they don’t see any immediate benefit is what could help them to grow. An example is learning to be humble; now often there is a choice to be humble, ignorant, or arrogant in a given situation. Many will subconsciously pick the most advantageous option, which may not always be the best in the long term. People don’t usually stop to think about the long-term implications, but a Soul that has awakened can see the relevance.

There is always the easy option, the right thing to do, or the option that provides benefits. At times that can mean missing out on physical realm things, or having those around you criticizing or shunning you. Some won’t understand, because they feel their choice is better. Even if you try to explain it to them, they won’t always listen, but remember, you don’t have to justify your own actions. For many, they cannot see the bigger picture right now, but when they transition they will be reminded of the options they had, and the real reasons for their choice. One thing I will tell you is that choosing to do the right and moral thing is something that will remain with the Soul eternally, but to get to that stage some errors will be made, for that is how one learns.

I hope you can see that much of what society focuses on isn’t conducive to Soul Growth, or that less emphasis is put upon things that actually do matter. I see so much pettiness around me when it really doesn’t matter—if it doesn’t harm or affect another, then it shouldn’t matter. It’s hard to ignore and endure at times when it’s repetitive. Maybe it’s about control? However control is about ego when it concerns others. As for my own immediate family, they are uninspiring young souls that all seek control of others. I let them think that for an easier time, but every now and then I put the brakes on and it shocks them. I will endure my mother’s pettiness as I have done my entire life (there was a spell of not seeing or speaking for a decade or so for my own sanity), tolerate my father’s frugal nature despite the fact he knows he can’t take his money with him and in the space of two years he has nearly died in hospital, and my brother’s arrogance in that he blames someone or something else for anything that goes wrong. I accept this, but I don’t find it useful to me, but I cannot change the vision of those who are blind to what they need to learn and focus on.

I try to think what do I gain from this spiritually—okay, my tolerance and patience levels have been tested to the limit, and I can see that some Souls simply cannot learn even with the best Guides and Mentors around them. I have learned that the Soul must want to learn before they can be taught, and be ready. I have little more to learn from them, yet they have more to learn from me and it’s hard work. I question if I must stay to guide those who cannot see what they need to in order to grow. It’s not looking as if it’s a great deal for me; however, the contracts will end when one side will transition (it’s either me or them).

A teacher gains fulfillment from the success of their students, or that they have been able to help. When that doesn’t happen, it can seem like a failure, but can a teacher be responsible for a student that doesn’t wish to learn? That is my emptiness within, and my struggle to maintain my morals, ethics, and integrity in a realm where many cannot see the long-term benefits. For many they want to know, “What’s in it for me?” or they aren’t interested. This is why Old and Ancient Souls prefer not to reincarnate; for them the emptiness and loneliness can feel like failure. Trying to see a lack of success not as a failure isn’t easy, and that is another lesson I am learning—that my existence is also for others, and while I must endure and tolerate a lonely emptiness within, that is one of my Soul Purposes. I will openly admit I yearn for more inspiring Souls around me, and that financial stability would make a small difference, yet I also know my time here is transient and it won’t matter soon. An incarnation can be an endurance test for Ancient Souls, and so I will indulge in some familiar old texts that help fill the emptiness.

Why Closure Is a Lesson For All Souls

Death is a means of closure, or so we may think, but is it really? Whether it’s finding closure on a betrayal, a relationship separation, an argument between friends, or a family feud—Souls of all ages will encounter lessons of closure at some point in their incarnation. It’s never easy, and how do you know if and when you have closure? Is closure forgiveness or does it require more? What if it’s guilt? Is it more than forgiving yourself, and what if you can’t?

I was recently reminded of this when an old best friend’s mother died, and as lovely as she was, she never seemed to have had closure on her divorce, or the issues with her daughter. On occasions she would act irrationally, but in hindsight it was a means to protect herself, and to assert her position to prevent her feeling the pain of the divorce. At times when we have been wronged, it is hard to find that strength to forgive and get closure. While divorce is a means toward closure, it’s only a legal matter and the emotional issues can linger for decades. Former spouses still end up in games of tit for tat, or find ways to punish one another when an opportunity arises subconsciously. That hinders actual closure.

These days with social media and the internet, people tend to think if they delete a profile or unfriend someone on Facebook then that gives them closure. Often it doesn’t as the resentment remains, or people delete things as a quick fix because they don’t like something or wish to face it. A friend of mine has a habit of deleting everything they don’t like in attempt to have closure, however, you can’t have true closure through escape. Pretending something never happened or that has been erased doesn’t mean it didn’t exist. Rather than closure, it’s more of a denial.

Some people who are terminally ill may feel a need to get closure on things before they leave, while others (usually younger souls) may not feel they have to. But what about those who are still alive and who weren’t able to get closure from someone who has transitioned? That is where reincarnation comes in, and whatever transpired will reoccur in the next incarnation so the issue can be resolved and closure can be achieved.

Family feuds are one the issues that binds people together when death occurs. There is an unspoken obligation to inform other family members (even if they have never spoken to one another) when someone has died. However, while people do consider blood to be thicker and a bond, more families live far away, lose contact, and barely know one another except for a shared surname and ancestors. How does one get closure on family matters when there is no communication? Perhaps that’s a reason why more Souls tend to reincarnate together because closure wasn’t achieved on all sides?

For many that have loved and lost, learning to accept closure on a failed relationship is both painful, and also leads to a feeling of failure. The burning of letters, deleting their texts, and throwing out their possessions maybe acts of closure, but often they are done in anger to try and remove the presence of that person. Some move on quickly to another relationship on the rebound to compensate for those feelings, but unless they have had closure it may lead to the same situation again. There is no magic time frame or formula for closure to be achieved, because it’s only possible when each Soul is ready to accept what has happened without resentment or anger. In real life that can stretch to years, and emotions aren’t things you can always control or be rational about.

Even when friendships drift apart or end due to disagreements, it’s hard to accept that someone you have known no longer will be in or wishes to be a part of your life. In a sense it’s rejection and loss, and closure can be hard because deep down we hope rifts can be mended. While that hope remains, the Soul doesn’t want or seek closure, even though it maybe inevitable. I like to think of friends as those who care about you unconditionally, and there will be fallouts and arguments, but that is natural. Choosing to end a friendship (a true one) is as major as a relationship, because one chooses friends unlike family members, and that loss can be greater when there is no justifiable reason.

Closure on issues can take years, and often it’s subconscious as any anger, resentment or pain slowly erodes, or distractions have occurred to prevent any dwelling on the issues. Saying you have had closure and actually feeling you have had closure are very different things. It’s more than letting things go, but having a deeper understanding of why something had to happen, its purpose, and what you have learnt from it (whether good or bad). When you can talk about the incidents that need closure without anger and remorse, then you have true closure.

It takes time (maybe the entire incarnation) because that’s one of the greatest lessons each Soul learns during an incarnation; how to get closure and to know when they have actually achieved it, because they have learnt a Soul Lesson. Some however don’t get closure, and they end an incarnation with outstanding issues. They then have a choice to reincarnate immediately to get closure, or to seek guidance if they don’t feel ready for closure and need time to heal. Even in death, there is no guarantee of closure because Souls are eternal. It’s with this knowledge (or theory for those who struggle with this belief) that encourages me to find closure wherever possible, and it comes with learning to be more understanding and tolerant of others. Another option is prevent the need for closure in the first place, but that’s not always possible, and something that Old and Ancient Souls prefer to do if they can.

How Our Past Life Traits Blend Into The Present

Sometimes we can’t explain why we like or dislike something for no apparent reason, and maybe our past lives can account for that. On my own spiritual journey (which has been as rocky as Ernest Shackleton’s expedition to Antarctica) I have looked at why I was drawn to certain things and tried to find a rational explanation for them. Conversely I also looked at things I cannot bear, and in discovering some of my past lives I can begin to understand why.

One of my first realizations was when another Sensitive asked me if I hated water on my face. This is one of my pet hates that no one except my parents know of, as they struggled to wash my hair during my childhood, and if any water dripped onto my face I would scream. Naturally I avoid showers, and is related to a past life event where I was drowned as a witch. Over the years I have learned to live with it; at the hairdressers I keep a towel to hand if water strays, and when I am away I book rooms with bathtubs. My parents could never understood why I would freak out, and all I can say is the thought of an uncontrolled stream of water on my face still makes me feel very uncomfortable.

Recently I have come across articles or people mentioning things that have triggered memories, where there is a familiarity and an aura of calm. As a child I had an obsession with apple trees and begged my mother as a five-year-old to have one. She said it was too much work to keep and my request was denied. A month later she bought some plants she liked and planted them, unbeknown to her they were apple blossom and I had my apple tree after all. I’d also thrown my penny into the wishing well and made a wish to have an apple tree, and whether it was a coincidence or not who knows? Could I have manifested it at five-years-old when I didn’t even know what the word meant then? Three decades later, a past life was revealed to me where I discovered in that lifetime I owned an apple orchard. It was well documented and is where I apparently spent time to get peace. I visited the spot where the orchard would have been (this was three centuries ago), and I felt safe there even though today it is a park. The irony of it all is that I don’t actually eat apples, even as a child, which is why my parents were confused as to why I would want an apple tree. I could never explain my reasoning then, but I still find a sense of calm around apple trees, and apple juice (pure pressed) is my favorite drink.

Most spiritual people like incense and that slow music people have in the background to mediate to. Not I, I cannot stand either and both make me anxious, and I feel sick when I smell incense or hear the music. I never gave it any thought, and it was easy to avoid, and I even banned one flatmate from burning incense when it made me feel nervous, using the excuse of health and safety to stop her. I once went for a regression session and the healer tried to put on a CD with some soothing music, but it wouldn’t work. I told her not to bother as music doesn’t relax me, but actually annoys me. That session revealed a past life where I was sacrificed, which may or may not explain why I don’t like the music played in rituals, or the smell of incense. The healer assumed that’s why the CD player wasn’t working (even though it did an hour before). This also links in with what I recently discovered. I have always had a passion for chocolate; thick hot chocolate as a drink, and bars with no nuts or anything else in it. Some may say it’s a sugar addiction, but I enjoy eating chocolate and see it as a normal part of my life. Apparently in Mayan times a hot chocolate drink was drunk at rituals and used as a celebratory drink, as well as a currency. Has that habit passed down all these lives?  I’m very discerning about the quality of chocolate I eat or drink, and would rather have a small cup of good quality hot chocolate (no milk) rather than a large one from a packet. Again, I’m not sure why I prefer this and whether it has any connection, but I no one knows how I acquired the taste, I just did of my own accord.

There can also be phobias that blend into the present life as well as the traits that brought calm and joy, and that’s when the Soul intuition can help out. In my case with the smell of incense I had a fight or flight response for no rational reason, and while I know I am not in danger of being sacrificed it’s more comfortable if I am kept away from the smell.

We can learn to adapt to these strange and unexplained habits, and perhaps we don’t need to know the origin of them, but many will have been watered down versions of how the Soul behaved in prior lives. It makes me feel less of a freak though knowing there maybe an explanation for why I have preferences and a distaste for other things for no discernable reason, and that’s what makes a Soul unique and eternal as it never forgets what it enjoys and what it needs to be wary of.

©2016. S. T. Alvyn.

Does it matter if people don’t believe in Reincarnation?

Some people feel the need to convince people of their beliefs, yet when it comes to reincarnation, people just don’t know what to believe. Many don’t want to think about an after life, or that they will return, usually because they know they have done some wrongs and secretly they are afraid Karma exists. When I get challenged on proving how reincarnation exists, I don’t fall for it. Why? Mainly because it is something that each of us has to discover in our own way. There are many people that may believe in reincarnation for whatever reason, a personal experience or a past life recall, but they don’t talk about it. That is the wisest thing to do; have the knowledge and don’t let it affect your life, but allow it to guide you.

You don’t need to validate your beliefs either, because what you can see and understand may not be so for others. I realized this when people do remark with their experience only, and are unable to see beyond that. A simple example was when I was discussing email addresses with someone; I mentioned many people use a variation of their name and the year of birth in it. They remarked they had never heard of it, and stated that people don’t do that. I replied it was very common, and not only do I have friends that use that in their emails addresses, after working in recruitment and updating marketing databases, I can tell you it’s very common. The point is there was evidence to back up what I said, but the other party didn’t believe it or have the capacity to see that it was possible, when in fact it is true.

It doesn’t matter if others don’t believe in reincarnation, because while it may make people think twice about their actions, it often doesn’t stop people making bad decisions. We still learn from these, but when they are conscious acts to harm others, or deceptive, then the thought of reincarnation will be frightening to these kinds of people. They know they did wrong, but need to justify to themselves that it will be okay and they won’t be punished, because life to them is a one-way ticket.

Take it from an Ancient Soul, some free advice; reincarnation exists, but it doesn’t matter whether you believe it or not, because eventually you will find out yourself. I don’t need to convince people, because deep down the Higher Self already knows that, and when people deny the existence of past lives or reincarnation, it’s usually because they are Young Souls, or those who have been unable to connect to their Higher Self.

I suspect there is a large percentage that sits on the fence—those who want to believe but want proof. The problem is proof comes in various guises and sometimes they don’t recognize that proof. Then the question is, ‘What kind of proof do they seek?’ Whenever there is some proof, it is challenged. In life there are certain things that cannot be proven but we still accept them. For example, how you explain when a newborn knows who their parents are? How can you explain feelings, intuition, and instinct? The human mind is complex and each one is individual in how it perceives information, and how it stores it. Some people are not as capable of grasping facts or theories, so you may ask why set up this website and write books on the topic?

There are always questions people wish to ask, but either there is no one to ask or they are afraid of the answers. Not knowing and remaining in a suspended state is preferable to some, because if they do know for certain, then they know they have no excuse if they behave in a selfish and egotistical manner. Often I find people that do behave in such a fashion, are fully conscious of their acts and consequences, but use excuses such as depression, stress, or external events involving others such as a divorce as a reason. Denying the truth doesn’t change the facts, but a teacher cannot teach those who do not wish to listen and learn. Instead I provide a website and a series of books for those who do believe, or want to discover more. I don’t aim to convert, but to empower and provide information and knowledge to those who seek it either by chance or through searching.

©2016. S.T. Alvyn.

Souls That Seek Justice

Souls that haven’t transitioned due to an unnatural death are often the ones that are earthbound and stuck. Maybe they were murdered and it was made to look like an accident, perhaps no one noticed they were missing and were told that they had gone off to travel. These Souls tend to be fragile, and are apprehensive about trusting anyone to help them let alone to actually ask for help. Even when they do ask for help, the Sensitive may have limited time and resources, and Soul are not conscious of that fact.

Not all Souls seek justice because they will have been healed when they transition, and karmic plans will have been made to rebalance events. It also depends on what occurred, and whether each party bore some responsibility, as many times that will even things out and there will be minimal karmic debt on both sides. Often it is the young and confused Soul who will seek justice before they transition.

Young Souls struggle to communicate clearly during an incarnation, and while they transition. In these cases the Sensitive must guide the Soul to show them how they can help. This can be hard, as Young Souls are impetuous, rash, and often hasty in their actions. Making them stop and listen is a challenge in itself. They then may fear the Sensitive will stop helping them when there is no progress or if is slow. They still lack the ability to understand that things cannot be rushed when external players are involved.

Here is a mini guide for Sensitives who help Souls who wish to pursue and find justice for closure, and also for Souls who may struggle in articulating what help they need.

  • The Soul must ask for help. The Sensitive must ask them if that is what they want, as some Souls aren’t sure and just want to talk to anyone that will listen. Assisting takes a great deal of energy and isn’t something to be taken on lightly.
  • Trust has to be gained on both sides. The Soul needs to know that the Sensitive believes them, and can and will help. In turn the Sensitive has to trust the Soul truly needs help for justice and not for revenge.
  • The Sensitive must be free to say yes or no. A Soul cannot expect just because a Sensitive can hear them that they must help.
  • When the Soul sends messages, they must be as clear as possible, and use repetition if necessary. This is because if a message is vague, it doesn’t help and may lead to the Sensitive in the wrong direction. Trying to piece things together is not easy, and may lead to the Sensitive having to stop any further aid if the partnership isn’t working out.
  • A Soul must learn patience. If a message has not been understood, find another way, but rather than rush, build up information slowly so it makes chronological sense.
  • In the case of trying to understand what a Soul needs closure on, the Soul must start at the beginning and tell the Sensitive how things transpired. Many Young Souls rush to the incident rather than explain why things happened. This is important, as if the Sensitive has a clearer picture, they are able to interpret messages more clearly. For example, they may show who harmed them, but if they don’t show why or how, it is difficult to then prove whether it was planned or accidental. Maybe others were involved too, so a complete and clearer picture is needed to aid the Sensitive.
  • A Sensitive should use direct questions with the Soul when they need clarification. I use Tarot Cards (with Young Souls) as certain cards can represent the people involved, or how the Soul feels about someone. A question I ask often; Is X someone to be trusted? and if a card like the Devil appears then no, they are not trustworthy.
  • Communication is important as the Sensitive may need to ask the Soul things that they had not considered relevant. Often a Soul will relive their last moments, or show what they miss in life, or the people that can be trusted. When Souls are in pain, they are not always rational or logical and direct questions may have to be repeated more than once to get an answer.

Helping a Soul on either realm, be it the physical or spiritual one is never quick or easy. It requires patience and trust. In my case I do speak to those who ask for my assistance and say directly if they want my help, they must help me by guiding me and directing me to the right information, place or people. Like all relationships it takes time, and sometimes I do have to put things on hold for spiritual cases because I have issues on the physical realm to deal with. Soon a bond will build and communication will become easier; when you ask for a message, a certain card will be shown, or a name, place or date will appear randomly when you are online, on television, or if you are reading something. With my current case, the Soul kept showing me the Page of Swords, and I thought he meant a young man would be the one to ask with the answers. In fact, later when I asked another more direct question, it was the young man who had been responsible.

Interpreting messages from vulnerable Souls that are trapped and are in pain requires a higher degree of patience. In turn, Souls that ask for help must accept that a Sensitive is still limited in what they can do, and that it is teamwork—to work together to find justice and allow the Soul to transition and to heal properly.

©2016. S. T. Alyvn.