Why Closure Is a Lesson For All Souls

Death is a means of closure, or so we may think, but is it really? Whether it’s finding closure on a betrayal, a relationship separation, an argument between friends, or a family feud—Souls of all ages will encounter lessons of closure at some point in their incarnation. It’s never easy, and how do you know if and when you have closure? Is closure forgiveness or does it require more? What if it’s guilt? Is it more than forgiving yourself, and what if you can’t?

I was recently reminded of this when an old best friend’s mother died, and as lovely as she was, she never seemed to have had closure on her divorce, or the issues with her daughter. On occasions she would act irrationally, but in hindsight it was a means to protect herself, and to assert her position to prevent her feeling the pain of the divorce. At times when we have been wronged, it is hard to find that strength to forgive and get closure. While divorce is a means toward closure, it’s only a legal matter and the emotional issues can linger for decades. Former spouses still end up in games of tit for tat, or find ways to punish one another when an opportunity arises subconsciously. That hinders actual closure.

These days with social media and the internet, people tend to think if they delete a profile or unfriend someone on Facebook then that gives them closure. Often it doesn’t as the resentment remains, or people delete things as a quick fix because they don’t like something or wish to face it. A friend of mine has a habit of deleting everything they don’t like in attempt to have closure, however, you can’t have true closure through escape. Pretending something never happened or that has been erased doesn’t mean it didn’t exist. Rather than closure, it’s more of a denial.

Some people who are terminally ill may feel a need to get closure on things before they leave, while others (usually younger souls) may not feel they have to. But what about those who are still alive and who weren’t able to get closure from someone who has transitioned? That is where reincarnation comes in, and whatever transpired will reoccur in the next incarnation so the issue can be resolved and closure can be achieved.

Family feuds are one the issues that binds people together when death occurs. There is an unspoken obligation to inform other family members (even if they have never spoken to one another) when someone has died. However, while people do consider blood to be thicker and a bond, more families live far away, lose contact, and barely know one another except for a shared surname and ancestors. How does one get closure on family matters when there is no communication? Perhaps that’s a reason why more Souls tend to reincarnate together because closure wasn’t achieved on all sides?

For many that have loved and lost, learning to accept closure on a failed relationship is both painful, and also leads to a feeling of failure. The burning of letters, deleting their texts, and throwing out their possessions maybe acts of closure, but often they are done in anger to try and remove the presence of that person. Some move on quickly to another relationship on the rebound to compensate for those feelings, but unless they have had closure it may lead to the same situation again. There is no magic time frame or formula for closure to be achieved, because it’s only possible when each Soul is ready to accept what has happened without resentment or anger. In real life that can stretch to years, and emotions aren’t things you can always control or be rational about.

Even when friendships drift apart or end due to disagreements, it’s hard to accept that someone you have known no longer will be in or wishes to be a part of your life. In a sense it’s rejection and loss, and closure can be hard because deep down we hope rifts can be mended. While that hope remains, the Soul doesn’t want or seek closure, even though it maybe inevitable. I like to think of friends as those who care about you unconditionally, and there will be fallouts and arguments, but that is natural. Choosing to end a friendship (a true one) is as major as a relationship, because one chooses friends unlike family members, and that loss can be greater when there is no justifiable reason.

Closure on issues can take years, and often it’s subconscious as any anger, resentment or pain slowly erodes, or distractions have occurred to prevent any dwelling on the issues. Saying you have had closure and actually feeling you have had closure are very different things. It’s more than letting things go, but having a deeper understanding of why something had to happen, its purpose, and what you have learnt from it (whether good or bad). When you can talk about the incidents that need closure without anger and remorse, then you have true closure.

It takes time (maybe the entire incarnation) because that’s one of the greatest lessons each Soul learns during an incarnation; how to get closure and to know when they have actually achieved it, because they have learnt a Soul Lesson. Some however don’t get closure, and they end an incarnation with outstanding issues. They then have a choice to reincarnate immediately to get closure, or to seek guidance if they don’t feel ready for closure and need time to heal. Even in death, there is no guarantee of closure because Souls are eternal. It’s with this knowledge (or theory for those who struggle with this belief) that encourages me to find closure wherever possible, and it comes with learning to be more understanding and tolerant of others. Another option is prevent the need for closure in the first place, but that’s not always possible, and something that Old and Ancient Souls prefer to do if they can.

How Our Past Life Traits Blend Into The Present

Sometimes we can’t explain why we like or dislike something for no apparent reason, and maybe our past lives can account for that. On my own spiritual journey (which has been as rocky as Ernest Shackleton’s expedition to Antarctica) I have looked at why I was drawn to certain things and tried to find a rational explanation for them. Conversely I also looked at things I cannot bear, and in discovering some of my past lives I can begin to understand why.

One of my first realizations was when another Sensitive asked me if I hated water on my face. This is one of my pet hates that no one except my parents know of, as they struggled to wash my hair during my childhood, and if any water dripped onto my face I would scream. Naturally I avoid showers, and is related to a past life event where I was drowned as a witch. Over the years I have learned to live with it; at the hairdressers I keep a towel to hand if water strays, and when I am away I book rooms with bathtubs. My parents could never understood why I would freak out, and all I can say is the thought of an uncontrolled stream of water on my face still makes me feel very uncomfortable.

Recently I have come across articles or people mentioning things that have triggered memories, where there is a familiarity and an aura of calm. As a child I had an obsession with apple trees and begged my mother as a five-year-old to have one. She said it was too much work to keep and my request was denied. A month later she bought some plants she liked and planted them, unbeknown to her they were apple blossom and I had my apple tree after all. I’d also thrown my penny into the wishing well and made a wish to have an apple tree, and whether it was a coincidence or not who knows? Could I have manifested it at five-years-old when I didn’t even know what the word meant then? Three decades later, a past life was revealed to me where I discovered in that lifetime I owned an apple orchard. It was well documented and is where I apparently spent time to get peace. I visited the spot where the orchard would have been (this was three centuries ago), and I felt safe there even though today it is a park. The irony of it all is that I don’t actually eat apples, even as a child, which is why my parents were confused as to why I would want an apple tree. I could never explain my reasoning then, but I still find a sense of calm around apple trees, and apple juice (pure pressed) is my favorite drink.

Most spiritual people like incense and that slow music people have in the background to mediate to. Not I, I cannot stand either and both make me anxious, and I feel sick when I smell incense or hear the music. I never gave it any thought, and it was easy to avoid, and I even banned one flatmate from burning incense when it made me feel nervous, using the excuse of health and safety to stop her. I once went for a regression session and the healer tried to put on a CD with some soothing music, but it wouldn’t work. I told her not to bother as music doesn’t relax me, but actually annoys me. That session revealed a past life where I was sacrificed, which may or may not explain why I don’t like the music played in rituals, or the smell of incense. The healer assumed that’s why the CD player wasn’t working (even though it did an hour before). This also links in with what I recently discovered. I have always had a passion for chocolate; thick hot chocolate as a drink, and bars with no nuts or anything else in it. Some may say it’s a sugar addiction, but I enjoy eating chocolate and see it as a normal part of my life. Apparently in Mayan times a hot chocolate drink was drunk at rituals and used as a celebratory drink, as well as a currency. Has that habit passed down all these lives?  I’m very discerning about the quality of chocolate I eat or drink, and would rather have a small cup of good quality hot chocolate (no milk) rather than a large one from a packet. Again, I’m not sure why I prefer this and whether it has any connection, but I no one knows how I acquired the taste, I just did of my own accord.

There can also be phobias that blend into the present life as well as the traits that brought calm and joy, and that’s when the Soul intuition can help out. In my case with the smell of incense I had a fight or flight response for no rational reason, and while I know I am not in danger of being sacrificed it’s more comfortable if I am kept away from the smell.

We can learn to adapt to these strange and unexplained habits, and perhaps we don’t need to know the origin of them, but many will have been watered down versions of how the Soul behaved in prior lives. It makes me feel less of a freak though knowing there maybe an explanation for why I have preferences and a distaste for other things for no discernable reason, and that’s what makes a Soul unique and eternal as it never forgets what it enjoys and what it needs to be wary of.

©2016. S. T. Alvyn.

Does it matter if people don’t believe in Reincarnation?

Some people feel the need to convince people of their beliefs, yet when it comes to reincarnation, people just don’t know what to believe. Many don’t want to think about an after life, or that they will return, usually because they know they have done some wrongs and secretly they are afraid Karma exists. When I get challenged on proving how reincarnation exists, I don’t fall for it. Why? Mainly because it is something that each of us has to discover in our own way. There are many people that may believe in reincarnation for whatever reason, a personal experience or a past life recall, but they don’t talk about it. That is the wisest thing to do; have the knowledge and don’t let it affect your life, but allow it to guide you.

You don’t need to validate your beliefs either, because what you can see and understand may not be so for others. I realized this when people do remark with their experience only, and are unable to see beyond that. A simple example was when I was discussing email addresses with someone; I mentioned many people use a variation of their name and the year of birth in it. They remarked they had never heard of it, and stated that people don’t do that. I replied it was very common, and not only do I have friends that use that in their emails addresses, after working in recruitment and updating marketing databases, I can tell you it’s very common. The point is there was evidence to back up what I said, but the other party didn’t believe it or have the capacity to see that it was possible, when in fact it is true.

It doesn’t matter if others don’t believe in reincarnation, because while it may make people think twice about their actions, it often doesn’t stop people making bad decisions. We still learn from these, but when they are conscious acts to harm others, or deceptive, then the thought of reincarnation will be frightening to these kinds of people. They know they did wrong, but need to justify to themselves that it will be okay and they won’t be punished, because life to them is a one-way ticket.

Take it from an Ancient Soul, some free advice; reincarnation exists, but it doesn’t matter whether you believe it or not, because eventually you will find out yourself. I don’t need to convince people, because deep down the Higher Self already knows that, and when people deny the existence of past lives or reincarnation, it’s usually because they are Young Souls, or those who have been unable to connect to their Higher Self.

I suspect there is a large percentage that sits on the fence—those who want to believe but want proof. The problem is proof comes in various guises and sometimes they don’t recognize that proof. Then the question is, ‘What kind of proof do they seek?’ Whenever there is some proof, it is challenged. In life there are certain things that cannot be proven but we still accept them. For example, how you explain when a newborn knows who their parents are? How can you explain feelings, intuition, and instinct? The human mind is complex and each one is individual in how it perceives information, and how it stores it. Some people are not as capable of grasping facts or theories, so you may ask why set up this website and write books on the topic?

There are always questions people wish to ask, but either there is no one to ask or they are afraid of the answers. Not knowing and remaining in a suspended state is preferable to some, because if they do know for certain, then they know they have no excuse if they behave in a selfish and egotistical manner. Often I find people that do behave in such a fashion, are fully conscious of their acts and consequences, but use excuses such as depression, stress, or external events involving others such as a divorce as a reason. Denying the truth doesn’t change the facts, but a teacher cannot teach those who do not wish to listen and learn. Instead I provide a website and a series of books for those who do believe, or want to discover more. I don’t aim to convert, but to empower and provide information and knowledge to those who seek it either by chance or through searching.

©2016. S.T. Alvyn.

Souls That Seek Justice

Souls that haven’t transitioned due to an unnatural death are often the ones that are earthbound and stuck. Maybe they were murdered and it was made to look like an accident, perhaps no one noticed they were missing and were told that they had gone off to travel. These Souls tend to be fragile, and are apprehensive about trusting anyone to help them let alone to actually ask for help. Even when they do ask for help, the Sensitive may have limited time and resources, and Soul are not conscious of that fact.

Not all Souls seek justice because they will have been healed when they transition, and karmic plans will have been made to rebalance events. It also depends on what occurred, and whether each party bore some responsibility, as many times that will even things out and there will be minimal karmic debt on both sides. Often it is the young and confused Soul who will seek justice before they transition.

Young Souls struggle to communicate clearly during an incarnation, and while they transition. In these cases the Sensitive must guide the Soul to show them how they can help. This can be hard, as Young Souls are impetuous, rash, and often hasty in their actions. Making them stop and listen is a challenge in itself. They then may fear the Sensitive will stop helping them when there is no progress or if is slow. They still lack the ability to understand that things cannot be rushed when external players are involved.

Here is a mini guide for Sensitives who help Souls who wish to pursue and find justice for closure, and also for Souls who may struggle in articulating what help they need.

  • The Soul must ask for help. The Sensitive must ask them if that is what they want, as some Souls aren’t sure and just want to talk to anyone that will listen. Assisting takes a great deal of energy and isn’t something to be taken on lightly.
  • Trust has to be gained on both sides. The Soul needs to know that the Sensitive believes them, and can and will help. In turn the Sensitive has to trust the Soul truly needs help for justice and not for revenge.
  • The Sensitive must be free to say yes or no. A Soul cannot expect just because a Sensitive can hear them that they must help.
  • When the Soul sends messages, they must be as clear as possible, and use repetition if necessary. This is because if a message is vague, it doesn’t help and may lead to the Sensitive in the wrong direction. Trying to piece things together is not easy, and may lead to the Sensitive having to stop any further aid if the partnership isn’t working out.
  • A Soul must learn patience. If a message has not been understood, find another way, but rather than rush, build up information slowly so it makes chronological sense.
  • In the case of trying to understand what a Soul needs closure on, the Soul must start at the beginning and tell the Sensitive how things transpired. Many Young Souls rush to the incident rather than explain why things happened. This is important, as if the Sensitive has a clearer picture, they are able to interpret messages more clearly. For example, they may show who harmed them, but if they don’t show why or how, it is difficult to then prove whether it was planned or accidental. Maybe others were involved too, so a complete and clearer picture is needed to aid the Sensitive.
  • A Sensitive should use direct questions with the Soul when they need clarification. I use Tarot Cards (with Young Souls) as certain cards can represent the people involved, or how the Soul feels about someone. A question I ask often; Is X someone to be trusted? and if a card like the Devil appears then no, they are not trustworthy.
  • Communication is important as the Sensitive may need to ask the Soul things that they had not considered relevant. Often a Soul will relive their last moments, or show what they miss in life, or the people that can be trusted. When Souls are in pain, they are not always rational or logical and direct questions may have to be repeated more than once to get an answer.

Helping a Soul on either realm, be it the physical or spiritual one is never quick or easy. It requires patience and trust. In my case I do speak to those who ask for my assistance and say directly if they want my help, they must help me by guiding me and directing me to the right information, place or people. Like all relationships it takes time, and sometimes I do have to put things on hold for spiritual cases because I have issues on the physical realm to deal with. Soon a bond will build and communication will become easier; when you ask for a message, a certain card will be shown, or a name, place or date will appear randomly when you are online, on television, or if you are reading something. With my current case, the Soul kept showing me the Page of Swords, and I thought he meant a young man would be the one to ask with the answers. In fact, later when I asked another more direct question, it was the young man who had been responsible.

Interpreting messages from vulnerable Souls that are trapped and are in pain requires a higher degree of patience. In turn, Souls that ask for help must accept that a Sensitive is still limited in what they can do, and that it is teamwork—to work together to find justice and allow the Soul to transition and to heal properly.

©2016. S. T. Alyvn.

Why Being An Old Soul Isn’t That Exciting

People are always fascinated with the phrase an Old Soul, but what does it really mean? One assumes that an Old Soul is wise, and is one that has lived through many incarnations and experiences. Yet, there are Old Souls (in the early steps) that are still learning, mainly through guiding and experiencing alternate perspectives. Most people like to think they are Old Souls when they aren’t because of the perceived image; some admit they are Young Souls and are content with that. That is a sign of an evolving Young Soul—one who can recognize they have a long way to go, and who will take their time. A true Old Soul is a great listener and speaks only to offer advice, never to dictate. Some are wise, others have more patience, most have the ability to communicate without dictating, and nearly all are reserved and keep their own private thoughts. That doesn’t mean they are necessarily introverted, but they keep their own counsel, and here, I share some of my own personal experiences only because I feel it may aid others.

An Old Soul will have experience and observed many events in their incarnations, and those of their Soul Group. In some ways they can seem blasé about things, not because they don’t care, but they know these painful lessons (for example, losing a member of the family in a tragic death, or being betrayed by a lover) will happen to all, and are a natural part of humanity. By knowing these things will occur, makes them appear less sympathetic in the eyes of others, when really it’s something they have witnessed countless times and they know why it needs to happen. Some maybe accused of being heartless or ruthless, whereas all they are doing is observing a repetition of events, and maintaining a clear and focused mind on how to deal with the situation.

I find an Old Soul, regardless of physical age, always seems to be moral and to do the right thing, because they know and understand the consequences of lying and Karma. I recall as a child I would always tell the truth, even if it meant the whole class getting punished. All I knew instinctively was to do what was right. Needless to say I ended up with very few friends at school as a result, and children couldn’t understand my need to do the right thing all of the time. I was always the one making black coffee for everyone as a teenager at a party to sober everyone up. Even in adulthood it has left me with conflicts among my peers, but an Old Soul cannot go against what they know deep down. The idea is to not to accumulate any more adverse Karma, but also to lead by example. Sometimes they can be the goody two shoes—the one that won’t follow a dare or an adolescent prank. They know better, but sometimes they concede, knowing the potential outcome, if only to be accepted by their peers. Childhood can be lonely without friends, and Old Soul children tend to be bullied or loners.

It can be a lonely existence as an Old Soul, but do not confuse them being unsociable with a need for space and solitude. What an Old Soul prefers is good company rather than company for the sake of it. I would rather be at home watching television than be at a party full of faux people, but a party with like-minded folks is a different matter. Old Souls aren’t always the loners they are made out to be—how would they guide or mentor others without any interactions? Instead they choose their company and environment wisely, and if it doesn’t suit, then they will move on.

In regards to work, being an employee can be hard for an Old Soul, not because they are better, but they can get frustrated more easily. Not all Old Souls have unlimited patience, which is why many do freelance, work for themselves, or make do and live on a small income. They know material things don’t matter (but they can make life more comfortable), and are willing to sacrifice material gains for freedom. One may say money does buy freedom, but only within limits. In my experiences as an employee, I have had to compromise my standards, integrity, and beliefs so as not to get fired. Eventually, an Old Soul will yearn to be free of these binds, although some fortunate ones find jobs that do give them this freedom or find a partner that enables a degree of freedom.

Being right all of the time can be burden. People tend to despise those who are cleverer than others, especially if they are employees. Many Old Souls must play down their roles and knowledge, a little like Clark Kent in Superman. Yet, a wise Old Soul knows when to say just enough, and to stay back, because others need to learn in their own way. It’s another lesson for the Old Soul to realize not everyone can see things as rationally or as logically as they can yet. That’s another reason why they prefer to be alone—if they cannot express themselves openly it’s best to be alone. It’s not a fear of not wishing to discuss their beliefs, but an Old Soul likes to use their time and knowledge wisely, and when it falls on deaf ears, that energy is best saved for another time and place. Many do become frustrated when others don’t listen to them (and they were right), and the Old Soul must choose whether to remain silent, or to persist. Personally, I only persist if there is danger, as in someone will be injured or harmed, otherwise I have learned silence (while hard) can be the better option than to be blamed, endure abuse, or to deal with arguments. I argue when I know I will win, however, human nature entails many despise losing or being proven wrong, and it causes rifts in relations. An important lesson is knowing how to maintain relations and to control them. Sometimes it’s wiser to let the other party figure discover things out by themselves and to just observe.

Old Souls do get disaffected, when they see Young Souls enjoying themselves because they find it harder to be less serious about life. They recall their past lives more readily, and have incarnated for specific purposes, and keep that in mind. That is not to say they cannot behave in a less serious manner, but they are more aware of the Soul Goals they need to complete, and many don’t wish to incarnate again to complete unfinished goals. As an Old Soul chooses to incarnate less frequently, it’s not a matter of time, but that they find more can be achieved in the Spiritual Realm. Many also don’t enjoy incarnations as much, because they are more aware of the pains of humanity they return to. On the physical plane their powers are more limited, and some feel more helpless, which is why when they do have an incarnation they are serious about their achievements. They can of course put their goals on hold and enjoy their incarnation, but eventually there will be a concentrated period where the goals to be fulfilled will arise.

An Old Soul incarnation in the latter stages can be a solitary one because of their serious goals; it maybe to guide and mentor certain Souls, and therefore those Souls are relying on them. It is a responsibility, much like a class of students who are relying on their teacher to help them pass all their exams. Sometimes an Old Soul cannot help themselves and they may seem boring, sensible, and predictable, but that’s because they have been through it all before and have already paid the price (Karma and learned those lessons) for impractical acts. Old Souls are still creative in their own way by using the knowledge they have amassed, but being an Old Soul means that they do know better. Even so, occasionally they go out on a limb and take a chance and see what Fate decides to dish out—they do let their hair down every now and then, but it comes at a cost. They usually know what that cost is beforehand and will anticipate and accept those consequences. That’s why many choose to play safe; an incarnation with less pain and grief is what most Old Souls prefer and choose to follow.

So why does an Old Soul choose to incarnate? They don’t have to, but many do so to assist other Soul Group members, and to mentor and guide evolving Souls. Once they are on the physical realm, they maybe called upon to assist others. That’s why many Old Souls are nomadic without any roots or attachments, as it is an incarnation of duty—to help out whenever there is a call. Naturally they have the free will to choose to walk away, and some do, not through inability, but many seek to assist those who will truly benefit from their time and support. An Old Soul is practical and likes to make the best use of their time—it can seem boring and unexciting, but they can see the bigger picture, always.

©2016. S.T. Alvyn. All Rights Reserved.