The Pain Of Soulmates And The Soul Group

I’ve recently finished reading Brida, by Paulo Coelho, and it was a timely reminder that people are often misguided in the myth that Soulmates only bring happiness and joy. I don’t believe in the concept of a single Soulmate, but that each Soul has several within the Soul Group, and that each one serves a different purpose. The novel follows the path of Brida, who is searching for her Soulmate and believes it will complete her and help her understand life. It also follows the thoughts of the Magus (one of her teachers) who is also in search of his Soulmate, and when he does find her, his lesson is to learn to let her go. This was a second chance for him; to learn from a mistake he made in his youth.

Why is it that society conditions us from a young age to find a Soulmate and to settle down? That people are conditioned into believing it is the key to happiness, and that it is an achievement? The truth is, the Soulmate concept is much more complex than settling down with a partner for life. There are so many myths as to what role a Soulmate should serve, but it’s not the rejoining of two parts of a Soul in my opinion, but is when a Soul that has been part of another Soul’s existence appears, and it feels as if they are a part of the Soul because it is so familiar. Soulmates often know how the other will feel and react, and that means that they know when they are happy (or what will make them happy) or are in pain, but also what can hurt them. In that respect it can be a dangerous power, because although we would like to think no Soulmate would deliberately wish to to harm another, it can happen subconsciously.

Many believe that love is the greatest force and power, which is why people spend money and time (on dating sites) in search of love and their Soulmate, but it’s not the answer. It can make you feel good about yourself for a while, but love isn’t consistent, and people fall in and out of love. People seem to have a need to be loved and wanted, but money can’t buy true love, although it can buy attention. People remain in relationships out of fear of being alone, or prefer a compromise where there is security; neither are based on love.

The novel deals with the issue of being in love with more than one person at a time—is that possible, and that more than one Soulmate will appear at the same time? The answer is ‘yes’ and it’s not easy to deal with. There is no easy answer—do you walk away from both, or pick the one that is practical? What I have learned is that if you love someone but your actions cause them pain, then you should let them go and walk away. In reality, it’s not easy though, but one can still love from afar. A Soulmate should still allow the other to choose their own path, even if it means loneliness and pain for the other. That is true love, and although it may seem cryptic, that’s because it’s a lesson that is so personal, one can only truly understand it when they have been faced with the situation.

I speak from experience; a Soulmate of mine would not let me go, yet he could not be with me and while he loved me, he was also inadvertently hurting me and holding back my path. I don’t feel he did it out of selfishness, and so I chose to walk away (a second time). By not letting me go, it prevented me from finding or acknowledging other Soulmates that may have crossed my path. I could not force him to be on the correct path, so I followed an alternate one of my own. Eventually he freed himself on his blocked path, and he later admitted he didn’t want to hurt me anymore than he may have done which is why he did not let me go. This was my second chance, and yet I chose to walk away again–the first time through a yearn for freedom, and the second, again for freedom of a different kind. The pull of the presence of a Soulmate can be compelling and addictive, and in that respect is a dangerous kind of power.

Soulmates can bring about great happiness and the darkest pain at the same time. Can you forgive them easily? Usually you can; he has forgiven me countless times, and I have not held grudges against him, but was disappointed in his lies even though they were to protect me from harm. That doesn’t mean the pain they create is less in anyway, or that it can be healed quickly. My advice is to not get misled into the belief that a Soulmate is the only option, or to expect too much. There can be times of shared bonding, but that they have the power to alter, and block your path when love gets confused with the expectations of the physical realm. While divorce and separations are never easy to deal with, one needs to accept it is a natural fabric of life; when people die, they will be parted eventually.

Maybe the lesson is to learn to let a Soulmate go, perhaps to experience the pain of losing love, or to learn how to cope with a forbidden love that may not be socially acceptable on the physical realm? Those are some of the other roles of a Soulmate in the Soul Group besides being a companion in an incarnation. Soulmate interactions are powerful—more powerful that the emotion and impact of love. Don’t under estimate their power and ability to change your path.

Missing Post Office: Where you can send an eternal message

On an island called Awashima, near Hiroshima in South West Japan is the ‘Missing Post Office’, where all letters that have no destination arrive, like an International Poste Restante. Sometimes people need to write a letter, to ask for forgiveness, to say something to a family member you never met, tell a pet how much you loved them, give advice to an older or younger self, or maybe to tell someone something you never found the courage to. It doesn’t matter. Physically writing something down eases a burden, but also allows us to express ourselves. We may have journals to write in, but sometimes one needs to feel a letter has made a journey, and that the message has been conveyed. When Souls struggle to ask for forgiveness because that person has passed—there is now a destination for that letter. Maybe no one on earth will physically read it, but its existence can send the vibrations throughout the Universe.

It all began in 2013 during the Setouchi Triennale (an art festival) in Japan where ‘Missing Post Office’ was a work of art by the artist Saya Kubota (who owns the copyright of all letters, thus you transfer them to her when you post them). Over 10,000 letters have been received so far, originally it was supposed to last the month of the art festival, but the old Post Office decided to keep it open and accept more letters. Every second and fourth Saturday of the month between 13:00 and 16:00, the Missing Post Office is open to the public, so that they can read these letters, and it’s here where you can also send your letters. You don’t need to put your name or return address; it will find it’s way there.


Awashima 1317-2, Takuma-cho,
Mitoyo-shi, Kagawa Prefecture, Japan 769-1108

Until 22 February 2016, in collaboration with the Daiwa Foundation, letters can posted in the UK, and read at;

Missing Post Office UK c/o
The Daiwa Anglo-Japanese Foundation
Daiwa Foundation Japan House
13/14 Cornwall Terrace (Outer Circle)
London NW1 4QP

The caretaker is retired Postmaster Katsuhisa Nakata, who carefully reads and looks after the letters that arrive. This may have started as an art project, but has turned into a sanctuary of peace, where people can express their emotions, get some closure on issues, and feel that their message has been received somehow. Poste Restante was what travelers and explorers used to get their mail before the Internet existed. In each major town or city, the Post Office can hold mail for those without an address. If you put off writing a letter because you had nowhere to send it, now you can.