Why Life Is The Hardest Exam You Will Take

The most difficult exam each human will undertake is figuring out what their life is about and how to live it. It’s a subconscious act for many and some may find it easy, and others will struggle, but you’ll never know if you passed until you have transitioned (died). For some of you, it may seem rather crude to suggest life exists as a test, but think about it—each action or choice we make is some kind of test as to what we choose to think or do. At times we make errors and correct them; some may take a long time to realize if at all. Perhaps that is the point of life; to learn from our mistakes or know when to make the right choices in a given situation?

I came upon this theory as a few friends of mine are struggling with life, and some wish to give up and yet I cannot do any more than to encourage them not to. Of course I cannot guarantee the outcome, and yes, I too at times yearn to drop things and skip a chapter or two but skipping pages and chapters means you will have to go back to them eventually and that you might have missed some information that was needed. If you read a saga and skip a book you may not understand the significance of something that has happened or in Dostoyevsky’s Crime and Punishment, which is a complex novel of Raskolnikov’s thoughts and actions, if you skip a chapter you miss out on his train of thought, or how he feels about the other characters, and the last few chapters will make little sense. That’s a little like life, sometimes we have to keep going with chapters that are hard work, tiresome, or seem to have no purpose or make no sense. If we skip them, we have to then go back to them and so is counter productive usually in hindsight. If it is towards the end of the incarnation, it means those chapters will have to be revisited in the next incarnation instead.

Life is a test, an exam that we are all taking at different levels, however, for some questions there are no definitive answers. So how can we have an exam with no answers? That is why it this is the hardest exam you will ever take (subconsciously) because you in fact created the questions (beforehand), therefore, only you have the actual answers. Take for example dilemmas, how do you decide on which is the right course of action? What is right for you may not be advantageous for another despite the same dilemma. Each ‘question’ posed is unique to each Soul and that is why there can be no absolute answer.

Some of you maybe asking why are we being tested, and it’s a choice we make when we decide to incarnate, for we are in fact testing ourselves to some extent. Naturally this is a philosophical and spiritual outlook, and many Souls will sail through life oblivious to it all, but for those who question life and its purpose perhaps this will give them some small degree of comfort. If an exam is too easy then you don’t think or learn, and when it is a hard and complex question you have to consider different answers or ways to solve it, and that is what life is about—choosing what is right and to try and not let other factors influence your decision. These may include such things as finances, what other people may think, and what will be quicker. Of course we can skip questions, but then think, why did we choose to ask them in the first place? I have skipped questions and they don’t go away, but come back when you least want them to.

My own life has not been without struggles, but more internal ones where I know what is morally right, and yet am forced to turn a blind eye to what seems wrong at times. All my wisdom and knowledge accumulated over my incarnations cannot shake that feeling when I know I could have done more or said something, yet it was not my place to do so. I have learned that as much as you wish to, many will not listen or choose not to hear. It doesn’t matter how much you know or think you know, the best answers can surprise you, or they can make you feel apathetic. For those who are struggling and want to give up or choose the easy way out, there is no wrong answer as you are still learning. However, like an exam, you can go back to the question if you choose and try and solve it. You also know if you don’t at least try, then you know it is only you that loses out, and that it may weigh on your mind. Many of us think back at the ‘what ifs’ and the lesson from that is to face things and attempt them, so there are fewer what ifs to mull over.

One of the main issues I see in life is people comparing themselves to others, when they don’t realize they are in effect taking different exams. Now I believe in equality, but the fact is some people are taking advanced exams, others are retaking an exam, and others are at entry level and there is no comparison between taking a GED test and a postgraduate exam. It’s hard not to compare or to think things aren’t fair when people plaster everything on social media, but fairness is a physical realm perception that can also lead to envy and greed. Inspiration is great and dandy, but underneath it all, is some of that driven by unnecessary jealousy?

This exam is made up of your own questions, and answers, and the trick is to figure out the point and purpose of the question, and accept that some may not get answered satisfactorily. If only it were as easy as multiple choice, but many answers can be infinite I’m afraid. Tackle the meaning of the question, and the answer will be easier to find even if it’s not the one you prefer.

The Emptiness Within And Enduring Triviality

There are some of us that feel an emptiness inside at times, and we search for some meaning or purpose, to life and what surrounds us. We want to know why certain things are so, or why isn’t life fairer. I know it sounds a bit heavy, but some people have jobs to go to, or family to look after, and they don’t think about the meaning of life because they are distracted or have no time. Do we even really need to think about it, or just live it? For some it’s not important and they carry on and seek a balance of pleasure, with paying the bills; that’s life for a huge sector of society, but not for all. Yes, it maybe easier not to think about it, but that doesn’t mean that the questions will stop being asked.

While we may question the purpose of our existence, I don’t rely on God for an explanation, but look at what I wish to achieve in this incarnation. It may sound a little strange not to ask God or a Guide for an answer, but they are not supposed to give us answers, because we need to figure out that part ourselves. We don’t need things to be explained, for if we did, what lessons have we learned? I reflect upon my own incarnation thus far, and I look at the emptiness within. Others may say we should look for gratitude, and look at what we were gifted with, yet I am skeptical of this notion. Are they things that the physical realm considers gifts?

Some may say they are gifted with good health, but that is actually predetermined to an extent, and controllable on the physical plane. Souls maybe born with a disability for a reason, to help them or those around them to learn lessons. Then people can take responsibility to take care of their health, or those who are in good health may have genes that counteract that. What about those born with good looks or financial stability? Again, these are predetermined before an incarnation, so are they gifts when they were already planned? Maybe some spiritual folks will say the love of their family is a gift, but can you measure love, and can you control those around you to love you without manipulation or unconditionally? Love like trust and respect and earned and cannot be bought with actions or material objects. People try, but and it may work for a short period of time, but it’s a case of quid pro quo rather than a conscious action in most cases.

I asked myself the question, “What have I been gifted with?” and to be honest I struggled with a rational answer. In the end it has nothing to do with anything my parents have provided, or anything I have actually done. My gifts are my Soul, my brain, and my morals and ethics. None of these are things that can be bought or transferred, and are what I arrived on this earth with. I value these things more so as I see society crumbling and people around me saying and doing meaningless things, and focusing on petty matters. To them it obviously isn’t meaningless right now, but once they have transitioned they will see how trivial it all was, yet my morals, and ethics will remain with my Soul eternally.

Trivial matters govern the lives of mainly younger souls, the retired, the bored housewife, and the rich whose lives revolve around shopping, eating out and taking vacations. They pick at small matters that only concern them and in fact do no harm, and it’s this wasted energy in the Universe that is defining society and how it functions. Having to deal with these tiring Souls who are petty can be hard work mentally. In the physical realm I wasn’t gifted with much, but had the basics. Most people (including my immediate family) are young souls, and perhaps my role is to help them to learn, because I have been the anchor for all of them since I was a toddler. The spiritual side of me wants to see this as fulfilling, but if I am being honest it’s tiring, mainly unappreciated, and frustrating. It’s a little like an employee who don’t like their bosses but who are stuck with them and put up with it. I’m also going to be honest in that I don’t actually like any of my family, yet I tolerate them and feel responsible for them. There are moments that I stop and let them fall, but then I have to pick up the pieces and so I create more work for myself. That is my emptiness within—that what I do for others, they will not understand or see it.

Being an Old or Ancient Soul is lonely because no one can truly see what really matters, and why I do prefer to be alone to find some solace and balance in knowing what I do is for the bigger picture. An Ancient Soul sees darkness, although they are not attracted to it, at times it can balance things and ground them so they see the reality of what is really around them. In other words, it puts things into perspective, that what many people (not Souls) focus on is meaningless in the long term, and what they don’t focus on could be meaningful in the long term.

For example, people focus on what they look like and while looking clean and tidy is necessary, I’m talking about plastic surgery and the bikini body obsessions that let’s face it when you are dead and buried really isn’t going to matter. Even in a subsequent incarnation it won’t matter because you will have a different body and appearance. Maybe they focus on say being frugal? One hears of people dying and leaving millions while they made do with their living standards or ate frugally. Again, what is the point, while one doesn’t encourage extravagance, what is the point of eating cheap unhealthy food and leaving money to the taxman and to charity? It’s a choice, but is it wise one? Learning to be frugal is necessary for some people, but it does boil down to being controlled by the material and allowing it to define your choices.

Ironically, what people choose not to focus on because they don’t see any immediate benefit is what could help them to grow. An example is learning to be humble; now often there is a choice to be humble, ignorant, or arrogant in a given situation. Many will subconsciously pick the most advantageous option, which may not always be the best in the long term. People don’t usually stop to think about the long-term implications, but a Soul that has awakened can see the relevance.

There is always the easy option, the right thing to do, or the option that provides benefits. At times that can mean missing out on physical realm things, or having those around you criticizing or shunning you. Some won’t understand, because they feel their choice is better. Even if you try to explain it to them, they won’t always listen, but remember, you don’t have to justify your own actions. For many, they cannot see the bigger picture right now, but when they transition they will be reminded of the options they had, and the real reasons for their choice. One thing I will tell you is that choosing to do the right and moral thing is something that will remain with the Soul eternally, but to get to that stage some errors will be made, for that is how one learns.

I hope you can see that much of what society focuses on isn’t conducive to Soul Growth, or that less emphasis is put upon things that actually do matter. I see so much pettiness around me when it really doesn’t matter—if it doesn’t harm or affect another, then it shouldn’t matter. It’s hard to ignore and endure at times when it’s repetitive. Maybe it’s about control? However control is about ego when it concerns others. As for my own immediate family, they are uninspiring young souls that all seek control of others. I let them think that for an easier time, but every now and then I put the brakes on and it shocks them. I will endure my mother’s pettiness as I have done my entire life (there was a spell of not seeing or speaking for a decade or so for my own sanity), tolerate my father’s frugal nature despite the fact he knows he can’t take his money with him and in the space of two years he has nearly died in hospital, and my brother’s arrogance in that he blames someone or something else for anything that goes wrong. I accept this, but I don’t find it useful to me, but I cannot change the vision of those who are blind to what they need to learn and focus on.

I try to think what do I gain from this spiritually—okay, my tolerance and patience levels have been tested to the limit, and I can see that some Souls simply cannot learn even with the best Guides and Mentors around them. I have learned that the Soul must want to learn before they can be taught, and be ready. I have little more to learn from them, yet they have more to learn from me and it’s hard work. I question if I must stay to guide those who cannot see what they need to in order to grow. It’s not looking as if it’s a great deal for me; however, the contracts will end when one side will transition (it’s either me or them).

A teacher gains fulfillment from the success of their students, or that they have been able to help. When that doesn’t happen, it can seem like a failure, but can a teacher be responsible for a student that doesn’t wish to learn? That is my emptiness within, and my struggle to maintain my morals, ethics, and integrity in a realm where many cannot see the long-term benefits. For many they want to know, “What’s in it for me?” or they aren’t interested. This is why Old and Ancient Souls prefer not to reincarnate; for them the emptiness and loneliness can feel like failure. Trying to see a lack of success not as a failure isn’t easy, and that is another lesson I am learning—that my existence is also for others, and while I must endure and tolerate a lonely emptiness within, that is one of my Soul Purposes. I will openly admit I yearn for more inspiring Souls around me, and that financial stability would make a small difference, yet I also know my time here is transient and it won’t matter soon. An incarnation can be an endurance test for Ancient Souls, and so I will indulge in some familiar old texts that help fill the emptiness.

Some Ancient Soul Musings

The start of a New Year usually is a relief to many when we see all the predictable ads for gyms, and the stores laden with fitness gadgets, yet people still buy into it! This year I feel will be unsettled, and while we leave behind 2016; a year with a high death count of the well-known, I see that as a mere taster for what is to come. People die, we know that, and the sheer volume of well-known deaths in the past year reminds us that life is transient and death is inevitable. One always wonders whether the Souls concerned had achieved all their goals, or that the ones they were seeking were not longer possible.

One of the best things that has happened is my reconnection with an old spiritual friend, whom I hope will share some of her amazing art work and thoughts here. She was around when I was reawakening, and we’ve been through some tough times together and supported one another. I’ve also been reminded with my recent charge, that we can’t save everyone, and even when lessons are obvious to a Lightworker, it’s not apparent to the charge. I decided to spell out the lesson, and then asked my charge last night if she had learned. She agreed I was right, but said she hadn’t learned her lesson. At that point I stated that it was pointless helping someone if they are not willing to learn, phrased as a rhetorical question. Today the charge is in hospital, and maybe then they will see the importance of learning, rather than seeing her actions as juvenile determination (she is 67, but physical age has no bearing on Soul Age). My words may have been cruel in the eyes of some, but honest and direct; I told her she doesn’t have a broken leg that can be healed, but a deteriorating terminal illness and that she needs to take responsibility and accept that.

As an Ancient Soul, it can be frustrating watching and listening to others make errors that can be avoided. While some ask for advice, the problem is you can’t tell people what they need to discover through experience. How can you know that love can lead to heartbreak when you have never truly experienced it, or how it feels or how to react when someone has betrayed you? No book or agony aunt can tell you how to feel, but can advise you on your options. On a spiritual forum that I sometimes frequent, I have noticed more arrogant members and egotistical posts, and indeed the admins seem to carry that same attitude. It does concern me that people behave in such a manner and think it’s normal or acceptable, but it reminds me that each Soul learns in their own way and at their own pace. It is best to ignore those who are not ready to listen or seek help; what they consider to be help is not usually the help that is offered. Assistance comes in many forms, but those who want short cut answers will be oblivious to what is in front of them. No one is entitled to help, but some assume they have a right to it. Help is offered as and when, and if that person feels the other will benefit. Just because I know and can help, doesn’t mean that I must or will. That is called discernment and free will, as well as being sensible. Why would I wish to help someone who is rude and disrespectful, because all it does is feed their ego, which doesn’t help with their soul growth and takes up my time and energy?

Spiritualism appears to be more commercial as people look for answers, reasons, and blame for why things have happened. Often these people who are dissatisfied with their lot and need someone or something to blame, and spiritualism is not the answer. Many don’t wish to hear things unless it suits them, therefore, why do they ask the question if they don’t want to hear the answer? I always say, don’t ask unless you are ready and prepared to hear the truth. However, reading what many consider to be normal allows me to respond to their behaviors in my own writings, and reminds me that there are many folks who assume they are spiritual (because they have read a few books and can quote others), and perhaps they are in their own minds. The Spiritual Path doesn’t always reveal answers, but it enables one to ask the right questions.

My own path is a little weary, and while I see the world in disarray, the USA is about to validate a dangerous and unworthy leader. Power can be dangerous, and while many people adopt the ‘let’s wait and see’ approach and hope to be surprised, the wise will look at damage limitation. Right now, Narnia seems to be a better place to be. Humanity seems to make the same mistakes over and over again, and isn’t learning…