Why Life Is The Hardest Exam You Will Take

The most difficult exam each human will undertake is figuring out what their life is about and how to live it. It’s a subconscious act for many and some may find it easy, and others will struggle, but you’ll never know if you passed until you have transitioned (died). For some of you, it may seem rather crude to suggest life exists as a test, but think about it—each action or choice we make is some kind of test as to what we choose to think or do. At times we make errors and correct them; some may take a long time to realize if at all. Perhaps that is the point of life; to learn from our mistakes or know when to make the right choices in a given situation?

I came upon this theory as a few friends of mine are struggling with life, and some wish to give up and yet I cannot do any more than to encourage them not to. Of course I cannot guarantee the outcome, and yes, I too at times yearn to drop things and skip a chapter or two but skipping pages and chapters means you will have to go back to them eventually and that you might have missed some information that was needed. If you read a saga and skip a book you may not understand the significance of something that has happened or in Dostoyevsky’s Crime and Punishment, which is a complex novel of Raskolnikov’s thoughts and actions, if you skip a chapter you miss out on his train of thought, or how he feels about the other characters, and the last few chapters will make little sense. That’s a little like life, sometimes we have to keep going with chapters that are hard work, tiresome, or seem to have no purpose or make no sense. If we skip them, we have to then go back to them and so is counter productive usually in hindsight. If it is towards the end of the incarnation, it means those chapters will have to be revisited in the next incarnation instead.

Life is a test, an exam that we are all taking at different levels, however, for some questions there are no definitive answers. So how can we have an exam with no answers? That is why it this is the hardest exam you will ever take (subconsciously) because you in fact created the questions (beforehand), therefore, only you have the actual answers. Take for example dilemmas, how do you decide on which is the right course of action? What is right for you may not be advantageous for another despite the same dilemma. Each ‘question’ posed is unique to each Soul and that is why there can be no absolute answer.

Some of you maybe asking why are we being tested, and it’s a choice we make when we decide to incarnate, for we are in fact testing ourselves to some extent. Naturally this is a philosophical and spiritual outlook, and many Souls will sail through life oblivious to it all, but for those who question life and its purpose perhaps this will give them some small degree of comfort. If an exam is too easy then you don’t think or learn, and when it is a hard and complex question you have to consider different answers or ways to solve it, and that is what life is about—choosing what is right and to try and not let other factors influence your decision. These may include such things as finances, what other people may think, and what will be quicker. Of course we can skip questions, but then think, why did we choose to ask them in the first place? I have skipped questions and they don’t go away, but come back when you least want them to.

My own life has not been without struggles, but more internal ones where I know what is morally right, and yet am forced to turn a blind eye to what seems wrong at times. All my wisdom and knowledge accumulated over my incarnations cannot shake that feeling when I know I could have done more or said something, yet it was not my place to do so. I have learned that as much as you wish to, many will not listen or choose not to hear. It doesn’t matter how much you know or think you know, the best answers can surprise you, or they can make you feel apathetic. For those who are struggling and want to give up or choose the easy way out, there is no wrong answer as you are still learning. However, like an exam, you can go back to the question if you choose and try and solve it. You also know if you don’t at least try, then you know it is only you that loses out, and that it may weigh on your mind. Many of us think back at the ‘what ifs’ and the lesson from that is to face things and attempt them, so there are fewer what ifs to mull over.

One of the main issues I see in life is people comparing themselves to others, when they don’t realize they are in effect taking different exams. Now I believe in equality, but the fact is some people are taking advanced exams, others are retaking an exam, and others are at entry level and there is no comparison between taking a GED test and a postgraduate exam. It’s hard not to compare or to think things aren’t fair when people plaster everything on social media, but fairness is a physical realm perception that can also lead to envy and greed. Inspiration is great and dandy, but underneath it all, is some of that driven by unnecessary jealousy?

This exam is made up of your own questions, and answers, and the trick is to figure out the point and purpose of the question, and accept that some may not get answered satisfactorily. If only it were as easy as multiple choice, but many answers can be infinite I’m afraid. Tackle the meaning of the question, and the answer will be easier to find even if it’s not the one you prefer.

Why Closure Is a Lesson For All Souls

Death is a means of closure, or so we may think, but is it really? Whether it’s finding closure on a betrayal, a relationship separation, an argument between friends, or a family feud—Souls of all ages will encounter lessons of closure at some point in their incarnation. It’s never easy, and how do you know if and when you have closure? Is closure forgiveness or does it require more? What if it’s guilt? Is it more than forgiving yourself, and what if you can’t?

I was recently reminded of this when an old best friend’s mother died, and as lovely as she was, she never seemed to have had closure on her divorce, or the issues with her daughter. On occasions she would act irrationally, but in hindsight it was a means to protect herself, and to assert her position to prevent her feeling the pain of the divorce. At times when we have been wronged, it is hard to find that strength to forgive and get closure. While divorce is a means toward closure, it’s only a legal matter and the emotional issues can linger for decades. Former spouses still end up in games of tit for tat, or find ways to punish one another when an opportunity arises subconsciously. That hinders actual closure.

These days with social media and the internet, people tend to think if they delete a profile or unfriend someone on Facebook then that gives them closure. Often it doesn’t as the resentment remains, or people delete things as a quick fix because they don’t like something or wish to face it. A friend of mine has a habit of deleting everything they don’t like in attempt to have closure, however, you can’t have true closure through escape. Pretending something never happened or that has been erased doesn’t mean it didn’t exist. Rather than closure, it’s more of a denial.

Some people who are terminally ill may feel a need to get closure on things before they leave, while others (usually younger souls) may not feel they have to. But what about those who are still alive and who weren’t able to get closure from someone who has transitioned? That is where reincarnation comes in, and whatever transpired will reoccur in the next incarnation so the issue can be resolved and closure can be achieved.

Family feuds are one the issues that binds people together when death occurs. There is an unspoken obligation to inform other family members (even if they have never spoken to one another) when someone has died. However, while people do consider blood to be thicker and a bond, more families live far away, lose contact, and barely know one another except for a shared surname and ancestors. How does one get closure on family matters when there is no communication? Perhaps that’s a reason why more Souls tend to reincarnate together because closure wasn’t achieved on all sides?

For many that have loved and lost, learning to accept closure on a failed relationship is both painful, and also leads to a feeling of failure. The burning of letters, deleting their texts, and throwing out their possessions maybe acts of closure, but often they are done in anger to try and remove the presence of that person. Some move on quickly to another relationship on the rebound to compensate for those feelings, but unless they have had closure it may lead to the same situation again. There is no magic time frame or formula for closure to be achieved, because it’s only possible when each Soul is ready to accept what has happened without resentment or anger. In real life that can stretch to years, and emotions aren’t things you can always control or be rational about.

Even when friendships drift apart or end due to disagreements, it’s hard to accept that someone you have known no longer will be in or wishes to be a part of your life. In a sense it’s rejection and loss, and closure can be hard because deep down we hope rifts can be mended. While that hope remains, the Soul doesn’t want or seek closure, even though it maybe inevitable. I like to think of friends as those who care about you unconditionally, and there will be fallouts and arguments, but that is natural. Choosing to end a friendship (a true one) is as major as a relationship, because one chooses friends unlike family members, and that loss can be greater when there is no justifiable reason.

Closure on issues can take years, and often it’s subconscious as any anger, resentment or pain slowly erodes, or distractions have occurred to prevent any dwelling on the issues. Saying you have had closure and actually feeling you have had closure are very different things. It’s more than letting things go, but having a deeper understanding of why something had to happen, its purpose, and what you have learnt from it (whether good or bad). When you can talk about the incidents that need closure without anger and remorse, then you have true closure.

It takes time (maybe the entire incarnation) because that’s one of the greatest lessons each Soul learns during an incarnation; how to get closure and to know when they have actually achieved it, because they have learnt a Soul Lesson. Some however don’t get closure, and they end an incarnation with outstanding issues. They then have a choice to reincarnate immediately to get closure, or to seek guidance if they don’t feel ready for closure and need time to heal. Even in death, there is no guarantee of closure because Souls are eternal. It’s with this knowledge (or theory for those who struggle with this belief) that encourages me to find closure wherever possible, and it comes with learning to be more understanding and tolerant of others. Another option is prevent the need for closure in the first place, but that’s not always possible, and something that Old and Ancient Souls prefer to do if they can.

Why Guides And Lightworkers Have Difficult Incarnations

One would expect an Old Soul to have an easier time during an incarnation—after all they’ve been through the worst already? That’s not always the case, because on the physical realm, older people slow down and retire, whereas in the Spiritual Realm the Old Souls recently have had more work to do; train and mentor new Guides, and also to heal and Guide their own charges. It can make for a fraught incarnation, while some opt to wind down and pass on any guiding roles. Just because they can and have the capacity to do so doesn’t mean they have to guide, however, some reluctantly do so when they witness the suffering and pain of others.

This doesn’t mean all Guides and Lightworkers will have difficult incarnations, or that those with difficult incarnations are Guides or Lightworkers. Then you ask difficult in relation to what? One cannot judge against their peers as each Soul irrespective of physical age is at a different level. I define a difficult incarnation when the Soul lacks a certain amount of free will and choices on their desired path due to their Soul Purpose of assisting others. Some can see it as a compromised situation, and while many Lightworkers accept this as part of the job it doesn’t make the incarnation easier when they are bombarded with negativity, and their paths get stalled. These contribute to a difficult incarnation, which is separate from the Soul Blueprint plans where a Soul plans their path and possibilities.

Some Lightworkers find it too much and reject their role, or turn a blind eye to events and that is their free will. In fact I think it is healthy as the days of martyrdom are relegated to history books. There has to be some balance as sacrifice is not lightworking, and when a charge or situation affects the incarnation of the Lightworker then they should be free to regain control of their incarnation. Some Lightworkers are very determined and will sacrifice their own journey to aid others, but this may come at a heavy price. While admirable and it is indeed their agreed vocation, some Souls rely and expect too much from Lightworkers, thus negating the purpose of the assistance given.

Guides and Lightworkers also may experience difficult incarnations because they are given knowledge and foresight, and when the charge opts not to follow the advice given, it is hard to watch them fall. I know many will say that the Lightworker can opt to intervene, but overstepping the agreed spiritual boundaries results in conflicts for the Lightworker as it prevents the Soul of the charge from learning. At times, pain is necessary as a tool. In my own experience where I did intervene, my own path was stalled and obstacles arose as a sign to tell me to stop. By forcing me to use my energies to focus on my own path, it made me see that preventing my charge from falling didn’t help, as they had come to expect my help.

Others may say it’s cruel for a Lightworker to choose whom to help and when, but this is not governed solely by their will, but that of the Souls’ other Guides. It’s like a teacher giving their pupils the answers to an upcoming exam because they want them all to pass and not to fail. The pupils won’t learn as much, although the teacher wishes to help them progress and none of them to have to experience the pain of failure. A Lightworker must stick to their role and no more even if the intent is good. That makes it hard when a charge may turn on them, or painful in watching a charge suffer. I had to do this, but I had no choice and when the charge asked for an easy way out again, I said I could not help. I could have, but I had learned my lesson, and saw that the charge needed to learn to let go of their pride, which was holding them back.

An incarnation for a Guide or Lightworkers can be difficult and rewarding, and while they may have agreed to these tasks before incarnating, knowing doesn’t make it easier, but explains why their incarnations won’t always go to plan. Mature Souls who are learning to be Lightworkers may experience the most conflict, where an incarnation can be made up of demanding charges, karmic debt, and achieving their own goals. It’s no wonder some struggle and have difficult incarnations where there are multiple blocks on their own path. Plans can, do, and will change, and Old Souls are used to this, but prefer them to be less rocky, which is why many prefer to be hermits and keep their distance with charges, or are less emotionally attached.

As for me, I choose my charges with care, and let them go when I feel they have become dependent—not forever or to teach them a lesson (as some may think), but to help them to learn to use the skills and knowledge I have given them. That’s my job, to hold their hand, but then to let them learn to walk alone. I also know some may resent me for abandoning them (but won’t see it that way), but in fact I was allowing them to grow, and they can’t if they know they can come running back to me for help without trying first.

©2016. S.T. Alvyn.

Why Being An Old Soul Isn’t That Exciting

People are always fascinated with the phrase an Old Soul, but what does it really mean? One assumes that an Old Soul is wise, and is one that has lived through many incarnations and experiences. Yet, there are Old Souls (in the early steps) that are still learning, mainly through guiding and experiencing alternate perspectives. Most people like to think they are Old Souls when they aren’t because of the perceived image; some admit they are Young Souls and are content with that. That is a sign of an evolving Young Soul—one who can recognize they have a long way to go, and who will take their time. A true Old Soul is a great listener and speaks only to offer advice, never to dictate. Some are wise, others have more patience, most have the ability to communicate without dictating, and nearly all are reserved and keep their own private thoughts. That doesn’t mean they are necessarily introverted, but they keep their own counsel, and here, I share some of my own personal experiences only because I feel it may aid others.

An Old Soul will have experience and observed many events in their incarnations, and those of their Soul Group. In some ways they can seem blasé about things, not because they don’t care, but they know these painful lessons (for example, losing a member of the family in a tragic death, or being betrayed by a lover) will happen to all, and are a natural part of humanity. By knowing these things will occur, makes them appear less sympathetic in the eyes of others, when really it’s something they have witnessed countless times and they know why it needs to happen. Some maybe accused of being heartless or ruthless, whereas all they are doing is observing a repetition of events, and maintaining a clear and focused mind on how to deal with the situation.

I find an Old Soul, regardless of physical age, always seems to be moral and to do the right thing, because they know and understand the consequences of lying and Karma. I recall as a child I would always tell the truth, even if it meant the whole class getting punished. All I knew instinctively was to do what was right. Needless to say I ended up with very few friends at school as a result, and children couldn’t understand my need to do the right thing all of the time. I was always the one making black coffee for everyone as a teenager at a party to sober everyone up. Even in adulthood it has left me with conflicts among my peers, but an Old Soul cannot go against what they know deep down. The idea is to not to accumulate any more adverse Karma, but also to lead by example. Sometimes they can be the goody two shoes—the one that won’t follow a dare or an adolescent prank. They know better, but sometimes they concede, knowing the potential outcome, if only to be accepted by their peers. Childhood can be lonely without friends, and Old Soul children tend to be bullied or loners.

It can be a lonely existence as an Old Soul, but do not confuse them being unsociable with a need for space and solitude. What an Old Soul prefers is good company rather than company for the sake of it. I would rather be at home watching television than be at a party full of faux people, but a party with like-minded folks is a different matter. Old Souls aren’t always the loners they are made out to be—how would they guide or mentor others without any interactions? Instead they choose their company and environment wisely, and if it doesn’t suit, then they will move on.

In regards to work, being an employee can be hard for an Old Soul, not because they are better, but they can get frustrated more easily. Not all Old Souls have unlimited patience, which is why many do freelance, work for themselves, or make do and live on a small income. They know material things don’t matter (but they can make life more comfortable), and are willing to sacrifice material gains for freedom. One may say money does buy freedom, but only within limits. In my experiences as an employee, I have had to compromise my standards, integrity, and beliefs so as not to get fired. Eventually, an Old Soul will yearn to be free of these binds, although some fortunate ones find jobs that do give them this freedom or find a partner that enables a degree of freedom.

Being right all of the time can be burden. People tend to despise those who are cleverer than others, especially if they are employees. Many Old Souls must play down their roles and knowledge, a little like Clark Kent in Superman. Yet, a wise Old Soul knows when to say just enough, and to stay back, because others need to learn in their own way. It’s another lesson for the Old Soul to realize not everyone can see things as rationally or as logically as they can yet. That’s another reason why they prefer to be alone—if they cannot express themselves openly it’s best to be alone. It’s not a fear of not wishing to discuss their beliefs, but an Old Soul likes to use their time and knowledge wisely, and when it falls on deaf ears, that energy is best saved for another time and place. Many do become frustrated when others don’t listen to them (and they were right), and the Old Soul must choose whether to remain silent, or to persist. Personally, I only persist if there is danger, as in someone will be injured or harmed, otherwise I have learned silence (while hard) can be the better option than to be blamed, endure abuse, or to deal with arguments. I argue when I know I will win, however, human nature entails many despise losing or being proven wrong, and it causes rifts in relations. An important lesson is knowing how to maintain relations and to control them. Sometimes it’s wiser to let the other party figure discover things out by themselves and to just observe.

Old Souls do get disaffected, when they see Young Souls enjoying themselves because they find it harder to be less serious about life. They recall their past lives more readily, and have incarnated for specific purposes, and keep that in mind. That is not to say they cannot behave in a less serious manner, but they are more aware of the Soul Goals they need to complete, and many don’t wish to incarnate again to complete unfinished goals. As an Old Soul chooses to incarnate less frequently, it’s not a matter of time, but that they find more can be achieved in the Spiritual Realm. Many also don’t enjoy incarnations as much, because they are more aware of the pains of humanity they return to. On the physical plane their powers are more limited, and some feel more helpless, which is why when they do have an incarnation they are serious about their achievements. They can of course put their goals on hold and enjoy their incarnation, but eventually there will be a concentrated period where the goals to be fulfilled will arise.

An Old Soul incarnation in the latter stages can be a solitary one because of their serious goals; it maybe to guide and mentor certain Souls, and therefore those Souls are relying on them. It is a responsibility, much like a class of students who are relying on their teacher to help them pass all their exams. Sometimes an Old Soul cannot help themselves and they may seem boring, sensible, and predictable, but that’s because they have been through it all before and have already paid the price (Karma and learned those lessons) for impractical acts. Old Souls are still creative in their own way by using the knowledge they have amassed, but being an Old Soul means that they do know better. Even so, occasionally they go out on a limb and take a chance and see what Fate decides to dish out—they do let their hair down every now and then, but it comes at a cost. They usually know what that cost is beforehand and will anticipate and accept those consequences. That’s why many choose to play safe; an incarnation with less pain and grief is what most Old Souls prefer and choose to follow.

So why does an Old Soul choose to incarnate? They don’t have to, but many do so to assist other Soul Group members, and to mentor and guide evolving Souls. Once they are on the physical realm, they maybe called upon to assist others. That’s why many Old Souls are nomadic without any roots or attachments, as it is an incarnation of duty—to help out whenever there is a call. Naturally they have the free will to choose to walk away, and some do, not through inability, but many seek to assist those who will truly benefit from their time and support. An Old Soul is practical and likes to make the best use of their time—it can seem boring and unexciting, but they can see the bigger picture, always.

©2016. S.T. Alvyn. All Rights Reserved.

Reincarnation: A Saga Of The Soul

A saga is a dramatic long story that can encompass generations and centuries. Each time the Soul chooses a new incarnation, it’s a new book in the saga, containing most of the same characters and new ones added in. If we consider it as a concept, it helps make reincarnation understandable.

During an incarnation, many of us make mistakes and wish to begin a new chapter. Some of us want to start a new book instead and that’s what reincarnation is; a sequel and follow on from the last book.

The Soul is the main character; there will be memories and lessons learned, the same souls may reappear, ones they have liked and those who they might prefer to avoid. Each book (incarnation), will be made up of long and short chapters with some of the same scenarios or adaptions, and that is life on earth; a series of books that continue on from where the last one left off. All are stored in a library, a Hall of Records called the Akashic Records; located in the æther of the Spirit Realm. Access to these records are available through connecting with the Higher Self (the part of the Soul in the Spirit Realm), or a Soul can grant permission for a Sensitive to help read and interpret the records. However, only information that is necessary is revealed and is granted for specific purposes; to aid a Soul on their path.

 © 2015. S.T.Alvyn. All Rights Reserved.