The Emptiness Within And Enduring Triviality

There are some of us that feel an emptiness inside at times, and we search for some meaning or purpose, to life and what surrounds us. We want to know why certain things are so, or why isn’t life fairer. I know it sounds a bit heavy, but some people have jobs to go to, or family to look after, and they don’t think about the meaning of life because they are distracted or have no time. Do we even really need to think about it, or just live it? For some it’s not important and they carry on and seek a balance of pleasure, with paying the bills; that’s life for a huge sector of society, but not for all. Yes, it maybe easier not to think about it, but that doesn’t mean that the questions will stop being asked.

While we may question the purpose of our existence, I don’t rely on God for an explanation, but look at what I wish to achieve in this incarnation. It may sound a little strange not to ask God or a Guide for an answer, but they are not supposed to give us answers, because we need to figure out that part ourselves. We don’t need things to be explained, for if we did, what lessons have we learned? I reflect upon my own incarnation thus far, and I look at the emptiness within. Others may say we should look for gratitude, and look at what we were gifted with, yet I am skeptical of this notion. Are they things that the physical realm considers gifts?

Some may say they are gifted with good health, but that is actually predetermined to an extent, and controllable on the physical plane. Souls maybe born with a disability for a reason, to help them or those around them to learn lessons. Then people can take responsibility to take care of their health, or those who are in good health may have genes that counteract that. What about those born with good looks or financial stability? Again, these are predetermined before an incarnation, so are they gifts when they were already planned? Maybe some spiritual folks will say the love of their family is a gift, but can you measure love, and can you control those around you to love you without manipulation or unconditionally? Love like trust and respect and earned and cannot be bought with actions or material objects. People try, but and it may work for a short period of time, but it’s a case of quid pro quo rather than a conscious action in most cases.

I asked myself the question, “What have I been gifted with?” and to be honest I struggled with a rational answer. In the end it has nothing to do with anything my parents have provided, or anything I have actually done. My gifts are my Soul, my brain, and my morals and ethics. None of these are things that can be bought or transferred, and are what I arrived on this earth with. I value these things more so as I see society crumbling and people around me saying and doing meaningless things, and focusing on petty matters. To them it obviously isn’t meaningless right now, but once they have transitioned they will see how trivial it all was, yet my morals, and ethics will remain with my Soul eternally.

Trivial matters govern the lives of mainly younger souls, the retired, the bored housewife, and the rich whose lives revolve around shopping, eating out and taking vacations. They pick at small matters that only concern them and in fact do no harm, and it’s this wasted energy in the Universe that is defining society and how it functions. Having to deal with these tiring Souls who are petty can be hard work mentally. In the physical realm I wasn’t gifted with much, but had the basics. Most people (including my immediate family) are young souls, and perhaps my role is to help them to learn, because I have been the anchor for all of them since I was a toddler. The spiritual side of me wants to see this as fulfilling, but if I am being honest it’s tiring, mainly unappreciated, and frustrating. It’s a little like an employee who don’t like their bosses but who are stuck with them and put up with it. I’m also going to be honest in that I don’t actually like any of my family, yet I tolerate them and feel responsible for them. There are moments that I stop and let them fall, but then I have to pick up the pieces and so I create more work for myself. That is my emptiness within—that what I do for others, they will not understand or see it.

Being an Old or Ancient Soul is lonely because no one can truly see what really matters, and why I do prefer to be alone to find some solace and balance in knowing what I do is for the bigger picture. An Ancient Soul sees darkness, although they are not attracted to it, at times it can balance things and ground them so they see the reality of what is really around them. In other words, it puts things into perspective, that what many people (not Souls) focus on is meaningless in the long term, and what they don’t focus on could be meaningful in the long term.

For example, people focus on what they look like and while looking clean and tidy is necessary, I’m talking about plastic surgery and the bikini body obsessions that let’s face it when you are dead and buried really isn’t going to matter. Even in a subsequent incarnation it won’t matter because you will have a different body and appearance. Maybe they focus on say being frugal? One hears of people dying and leaving millions while they made do with their living standards or ate frugally. Again, what is the point, while one doesn’t encourage extravagance, what is the point of eating cheap unhealthy food and leaving money to the taxman and to charity? It’s a choice, but is it wise one? Learning to be frugal is necessary for some people, but it does boil down to being controlled by the material and allowing it to define your choices.

Ironically, what people choose not to focus on because they don’t see any immediate benefit is what could help them to grow. An example is learning to be humble; now often there is a choice to be humble, ignorant, or arrogant in a given situation. Many will subconsciously pick the most advantageous option, which may not always be the best in the long term. People don’t usually stop to think about the long-term implications, but a Soul that has awakened can see the relevance.

There is always the easy option, the right thing to do, or the option that provides benefits. At times that can mean missing out on physical realm things, or having those around you criticizing or shunning you. Some won’t understand, because they feel their choice is better. Even if you try to explain it to them, they won’t always listen, but remember, you don’t have to justify your own actions. For many, they cannot see the bigger picture right now, but when they transition they will be reminded of the options they had, and the real reasons for their choice. One thing I will tell you is that choosing to do the right and moral thing is something that will remain with the Soul eternally, but to get to that stage some errors will be made, for that is how one learns.

I hope you can see that much of what society focuses on isn’t conducive to Soul Growth, or that less emphasis is put upon things that actually do matter. I see so much pettiness around me when it really doesn’t matter—if it doesn’t harm or affect another, then it shouldn’t matter. It’s hard to ignore and endure at times when it’s repetitive. Maybe it’s about control? However control is about ego when it concerns others. As for my own immediate family, they are uninspiring young souls that all seek control of others. I let them think that for an easier time, but every now and then I put the brakes on and it shocks them. I will endure my mother’s pettiness as I have done my entire life (there was a spell of not seeing or speaking for a decade or so for my own sanity), tolerate my father’s frugal nature despite the fact he knows he can’t take his money with him and in the space of two years he has nearly died in hospital, and my brother’s arrogance in that he blames someone or something else for anything that goes wrong. I accept this, but I don’t find it useful to me, but I cannot change the vision of those who are blind to what they need to learn and focus on.

I try to think what do I gain from this spiritually—okay, my tolerance and patience levels have been tested to the limit, and I can see that some Souls simply cannot learn even with the best Guides and Mentors around them. I have learned that the Soul must want to learn before they can be taught, and be ready. I have little more to learn from them, yet they have more to learn from me and it’s hard work. I question if I must stay to guide those who cannot see what they need to in order to grow. It’s not looking as if it’s a great deal for me; however, the contracts will end when one side will transition (it’s either me or them).

A teacher gains fulfillment from the success of their students, or that they have been able to help. When that doesn’t happen, it can seem like a failure, but can a teacher be responsible for a student that doesn’t wish to learn? That is my emptiness within, and my struggle to maintain my morals, ethics, and integrity in a realm where many cannot see the long-term benefits. For many they want to know, “What’s in it for me?” or they aren’t interested. This is why Old and Ancient Souls prefer not to reincarnate; for them the emptiness and loneliness can feel like failure. Trying to see a lack of success not as a failure isn’t easy, and that is another lesson I am learning—that my existence is also for others, and while I must endure and tolerate a lonely emptiness within, that is one of my Soul Purposes. I will openly admit I yearn for more inspiring Souls around me, and that financial stability would make a small difference, yet I also know my time here is transient and it won’t matter soon. An incarnation can be an endurance test for Ancient Souls, and so I will indulge in some familiar old texts that help fill the emptiness.

What Is An Altruistic Incarnation?

An altruistic incarnation is one of the hardest things to discuss and to understand. Why would any same Soul volunteer to be abused, murdered, or harmed in an incarnation to help another Soul to learn? Many people don’t understand this concept or even believe it, and I don’t discuss or write about this in detail because people still see it as an injustice,  wrong, and a flawed concept.  This separates those who can see the Soul journey as eternal, and those that see an incarnation as a one off event. Altruistic incarnations can be solely altruistic, or form part of an incarnation. That’s when people get confused and disillusioned with spirituality and humanity. The concept that if a good person does kind things, they shouldn’t be harmed is flawed. One must ask who decides what is good, because good doesn’t always mean moral or ethical. For example, Alan Turing and his team cracked the Enigma Code during WWII, but they chose which information to act on, so was that ethical to choose who would live or die, even though it was the right thing to do? While we may never fully understand why certain events happen at the time, free will allows the Soul to choose, and that is how the Soul learns.

Each Soul accepts the altruistic role before an incarnation, and this is discussed with all the Guides beforehand to ensure that the Soul can cope. This role is offered to the Mature and Old Soul only, as they will be more experienced and can heal faster if there is trauma. The purpose of these kinds of incarnations is to help others learn their lessons. Now, that may well be all good on the spiritual plane, but what does it say for the actions of humans? How can a child being beaten, or a spouse being murdered help others to learn their lessons?

Each action is a conscious choice, and each Soul must face the consequences of those choices. That is the lesson, in that they exercised their free will to enact a bad deed. It is the Soul that opts to follow the poor choice, and in doing so generates adverse karma, and must learn harsh lessons from it. Why did the husband beat the wife? To gain control, from ego, to make themselves feel better? These are the harsh lessons each of us must learn to face.

Altruistic incarnations are difficult, and that’s why often the Soul will not recall agreeing to the role. The bigger picture is that they have selflessly volunteered to assist others with their Soul Goals (and will evolve faster), and some will find their own lives a little empty. If they cannot achieve what they wish and encounter obstacles, it’s because their primary role has not been completed, which can frustrate them. This may occur in situations where there is a disability such as deafness, blindness, or a long-term illness as they serve as the means for others to learn their lessons. In some ways they are like an open target or bait, and other Souls must choose what to do. People tend to ask how and why could this happen, and it may well be because it helps others around them with their Soul Goals. For example, in a family one child is blind, and it creates an opportunity for other members of the family or learn lessons of empathy, patience, kindness, and not to judge others on their appearances. Each member has a choice of how to act or to assist, and that is the role of the altruistic incarnation.

Bad things happen to good people too, and life isn’t about being fair—it’s about growing and learning. I know for some these words may sound idealistic, but think about the situations where you could have helped someone, but you chose not to, or you helped in the way you wanted to and not what they needed. These situations arise to help us to grow subconsciously, and once you realize this, then you can stop and think about why and how you make your choices in life and how it may affect others. Those who volunteer to assist with altruistic incarnations may not understand why things are happening at the time, but will once they transition.

©2016. S. T. Alvyn.

 

 

 

Why Being An Old Soul Isn’t That Exciting

People are always fascinated with the phrase an Old Soul, but what does it really mean? One assumes that an Old Soul is wise, and is one that has lived through many incarnations and experiences. Yet, there are Old Souls (in the early steps) that are still learning, mainly through guiding and experiencing alternate perspectives. Most people like to think they are Old Souls when they aren’t because of the perceived image; some admit they are Young Souls and are content with that. That is a sign of an evolving Young Soul—one who can recognize they have a long way to go, and who will take their time. A true Old Soul is a great listener and speaks only to offer advice, never to dictate. Some are wise, others have more patience, most have the ability to communicate without dictating, and nearly all are reserved and keep their own private thoughts. That doesn’t mean they are necessarily introverted, but they keep their own counsel, and here, I share some of my own personal experiences only because I feel it may aid others.

An Old Soul will have experience and observed many events in their incarnations, and those of their Soul Group. In some ways they can seem blasé about things, not because they don’t care, but they know these painful lessons (for example, losing a member of the family in a tragic death, or being betrayed by a lover) will happen to all, and are a natural part of humanity. By knowing these things will occur, makes them appear less sympathetic in the eyes of others, when really it’s something they have witnessed countless times and they know why it needs to happen. Some maybe accused of being heartless or ruthless, whereas all they are doing is observing a repetition of events, and maintaining a clear and focused mind on how to deal with the situation.

I find an Old Soul, regardless of physical age, always seems to be moral and to do the right thing, because they know and understand the consequences of lying and Karma. I recall as a child I would always tell the truth, even if it meant the whole class getting punished. All I knew instinctively was to do what was right. Needless to say I ended up with very few friends at school as a result, and children couldn’t understand my need to do the right thing all of the time. I was always the one making black coffee for everyone as a teenager at a party to sober everyone up. Even in adulthood it has left me with conflicts among my peers, but an Old Soul cannot go against what they know deep down. The idea is to not to accumulate any more adverse Karma, but also to lead by example. Sometimes they can be the goody two shoes—the one that won’t follow a dare or an adolescent prank. They know better, but sometimes they concede, knowing the potential outcome, if only to be accepted by their peers. Childhood can be lonely without friends, and Old Soul children tend to be bullied or loners.

It can be a lonely existence as an Old Soul, but do not confuse them being unsociable with a need for space and solitude. What an Old Soul prefers is good company rather than company for the sake of it. I would rather be at home watching television than be at a party full of faux people, but a party with like-minded folks is a different matter. Old Souls aren’t always the loners they are made out to be—how would they guide or mentor others without any interactions? Instead they choose their company and environment wisely, and if it doesn’t suit, then they will move on.

In regards to work, being an employee can be hard for an Old Soul, not because they are better, but they can get frustrated more easily. Not all Old Souls have unlimited patience, which is why many do freelance, work for themselves, or make do and live on a small income. They know material things don’t matter (but they can make life more comfortable), and are willing to sacrifice material gains for freedom. One may say money does buy freedom, but only within limits. In my experiences as an employee, I have had to compromise my standards, integrity, and beliefs so as not to get fired. Eventually, an Old Soul will yearn to be free of these binds, although some fortunate ones find jobs that do give them this freedom or find a partner that enables a degree of freedom.

Being right all of the time can be burden. People tend to despise those who are cleverer than others, especially if they are employees. Many Old Souls must play down their roles and knowledge, a little like Clark Kent in Superman. Yet, a wise Old Soul knows when to say just enough, and to stay back, because others need to learn in their own way. It’s another lesson for the Old Soul to realize not everyone can see things as rationally or as logically as they can yet. That’s another reason why they prefer to be alone—if they cannot express themselves openly it’s best to be alone. It’s not a fear of not wishing to discuss their beliefs, but an Old Soul likes to use their time and knowledge wisely, and when it falls on deaf ears, that energy is best saved for another time and place. Many do become frustrated when others don’t listen to them (and they were right), and the Old Soul must choose whether to remain silent, or to persist. Personally, I only persist if there is danger, as in someone will be injured or harmed, otherwise I have learned silence (while hard) can be the better option than to be blamed, endure abuse, or to deal with arguments. I argue when I know I will win, however, human nature entails many despise losing or being proven wrong, and it causes rifts in relations. An important lesson is knowing how to maintain relations and to control them. Sometimes it’s wiser to let the other party figure discover things out by themselves and to just observe.

Old Souls do get disaffected, when they see Young Souls enjoying themselves because they find it harder to be less serious about life. They recall their past lives more readily, and have incarnated for specific purposes, and keep that in mind. That is not to say they cannot behave in a less serious manner, but they are more aware of the Soul Goals they need to complete, and many don’t wish to incarnate again to complete unfinished goals. As an Old Soul chooses to incarnate less frequently, it’s not a matter of time, but that they find more can be achieved in the Spiritual Realm. Many also don’t enjoy incarnations as much, because they are more aware of the pains of humanity they return to. On the physical plane their powers are more limited, and some feel more helpless, which is why when they do have an incarnation they are serious about their achievements. They can of course put their goals on hold and enjoy their incarnation, but eventually there will be a concentrated period where the goals to be fulfilled will arise.

An Old Soul incarnation in the latter stages can be a solitary one because of their serious goals; it maybe to guide and mentor certain Souls, and therefore those Souls are relying on them. It is a responsibility, much like a class of students who are relying on their teacher to help them pass all their exams. Sometimes an Old Soul cannot help themselves and they may seem boring, sensible, and predictable, but that’s because they have been through it all before and have already paid the price (Karma and learned those lessons) for impractical acts. Old Souls are still creative in their own way by using the knowledge they have amassed, but being an Old Soul means that they do know better. Even so, occasionally they go out on a limb and take a chance and see what Fate decides to dish out—they do let their hair down every now and then, but it comes at a cost. They usually know what that cost is beforehand and will anticipate and accept those consequences. That’s why many choose to play safe; an incarnation with less pain and grief is what most Old Souls prefer and choose to follow.

So why does an Old Soul choose to incarnate? They don’t have to, but many do so to assist other Soul Group members, and to mentor and guide evolving Souls. Once they are on the physical realm, they maybe called upon to assist others. That’s why many Old Souls are nomadic without any roots or attachments, as it is an incarnation of duty—to help out whenever there is a call. Naturally they have the free will to choose to walk away, and some do, not through inability, but many seek to assist those who will truly benefit from their time and support. An Old Soul is practical and likes to make the best use of their time—it can seem boring and unexciting, but they can see the bigger picture, always.

©2016. S.T. Alvyn. All Rights Reserved.