The Consequences Of A False/Enforced Apology

Learning to say ‘sorry’ genuinely takes courage, guts, ounces of humility, and also a high degree of morality and ethics. It’s one of the Soul Lessons that each Soul will learn at different levels during each incarnation, and one that is responsible for lingering inflated egos. We often see people make public apologies to save face or a reputation, but how genuine are they? Are they forced, or made because it confers advantages (for example to have a lawsuit dropped)? Spiritually, it tows a fine line between what is legal and what is moral. What is legal isn’t always moral, and what is moral isn’t necessarily enforced legally.

Recently a couple of issues have been in the headlines that reminded of how conflicted humanity is in regards to morality. Sean Spicer (the current spokesman for the White House) made an error of judgment in comparing Assad to Hitler, claiming Hitler did not murder innocents using chemical weapons that insulted a whole sector of society, implying Hitler wasn’t evil. Within 24 hours, Spice made a public apology, while the Jewish community called for his resignation. He said sorry, but in his position as the official spokesperson for POTUS he should not have said what he did—it wasn’t illegal, but was incorrect and morally offensive. While he did apologize, one must question the inappropriate use of the language, and consider that the apology was enforced to prevent further embarrassment to the administration, which seems to apologize to the world on a weekly basis at present.

The issue with United Airlines is a little more complex and is a prime example of what is considered legal, isn’t always morally acceptable. The issue revolves around flight UA3411 from Chicago to Louisville on 9 April 2017, which had allegedly been oversold, whereupon four crew members appeared at the gate after all passengers had boarded, and requested seats. The poor management decision was made to remove four passengers who had already boarded the plane in order for the staff to fly for work the next day. No volunteers came forward and four passengers were selected randomly (according to reports). However, one refused and ended up being pulled out of his seat and then dragged with blood on his face off the plane.

The small print on an airline ticket doesn’t automatically guarantee you a seat on a plane, and some may say that the company had a right to remove the passenger, but not by physical force which caused an injury. The problems escalated as video clips were posted online, so people could see the actual incident and exchange, which was exaggerated by airline staff, yet the CEO of United Airlines made a thinly disguised apology, placing the blame on the actions of the passenger. This coupled with the internal letter to all staff saying he stood behind the actions of the staff, and felt that procedures had been followed, led to people cutting up their frequent flyer and credit cards.

What the company failed to do is to genuinely apologize to the passenger and admit their wrong doings, the public could see that. While one can argue whether the airline had a right to refuse the passenger the flight, no one can dispute it is illegal and morally wrong to use excessive force that causes actual bodily harm to someone who is not a threat (a 69 year old senior versus three airport security guards). Police are generally careful with protestors who take part in sit ins, and can remove them as long as they do not physically harm them in the process. In this case, the passenger aboard UA3411 ended up with a broken nose, a cut lip, and the loss of two teeth. An apology was necessary, and came only after the company shares fell, and the public declared they would not use the airline again, three days later.

If the CEO (and his team) had made a genuine apology immediately, the damage limitation would have less severe, because when you acknowledge a mistake, you either apologize, or you don’t accept blame. This is an important Soul Lesson for all—that you must be humble and make an apology when you have made a mistake. Too many try to blame others or make excuses, so why is making an apology so hard? First, you need to learn humility and it’s a challenge with the ego to be able to hold your hand up, or come forward and say that you were wrong or made a mistake. When people ask who is responsible for something, very few come forward unprompted to take responsibility. Usually there is some threat, or an investigation to persuade those responsible to come forward. Humans in general don’t like to accept blame or admit to a mistake, because that is associated with failure, and no one wishes to look like a loser. Yet, failure is how one learns and grows. It’s realizing that you have made a mistake that is the lesson, rather than covering it up, or finding some loophole to apportion blame elsewhere.

I find Older and Ancient Souls are more likely to readily admit to errors than Young Souls, who struggle to accept that they could have been wrong. No one likes to admit to mistakes as that makes them look weak and as a failure, but that is a physical realm concept. Those who are able to apologize and recognize errors without resentment or grudges are those who have learned their Soul Lesson, and thus evolve. Of course there maybe times where there is someone else to blame, which is why parents apologize on behalf of their child if they misbehave, as it is their role to guide. Bosses apologize on behalf of their company, therefore, those in positions of responsibility must learn to apologize for others, not to let them off the hook, but to then guide them and teach them the errors they made if they don’t understand why.

The crux is as your Soul becomes older, it tends to say less, therefore fewer apologies need to be made. An Old Soul can appear boring as they opt not to share an opinion or without realizing, they choose to remain silent, but this is because they know it’s not their place to comment or think  very carefully before they speak. It is the Young Soul or Mature Soul in the early stages that struggle with swallowing their pride to apologize, because they can’t differentiate between the societal physical laws and the moral laws that are universal in time and place. A wise Soul will know when man-made laws (that can adapt and change over time) are not applicable, and when an eternal moral law supersedes that.

In the case of United Airlines it was apparent to the majority that you cannot injure and force a passenger off the plane and say it was within the guidelines. As such those guidelines have been altered, and it’s been an expensive lesson. I believe that the company felt obliged to make an actual apology (after several days, and the second public statement) due to pressure from the media and public, and is a prime example of how not to apologize. If one has to think about it, then it isn’t a genuine apology, and that will still generate adverse karma. Perhaps they did see the error of their ways, but as a large company with plenty of experience and access to high level legal advice, they acted poorly and have looked like amateurs.

Naturally, at times it can take time to realize one has made an error, as stubbornness and arrogance are traits many struggle with. What a Soul will learn is that owning up to a mistake and apologizing is not a sign of weakness, but is one of maturity and integrity. To be able to say that you have learned from something negative means your Soul has evolved, but those who refuse to apologize or accept moral wrongdoing will be stuck on their path until they do. It’s not just pride, but learning the ability to know right from wrong, despite the possible negative outcome. Saying sorry is hard, but to do it with genuine intent and to understand why is part of the Soul Growth. Learn from the errors of others, and don’t wait until you have to say sorry; make the conscious choice to do so as soon as you realize the mistake, for that is when the Soul acknowledges a lesson learnt, and is part of the evolving Soul Expedition.

 

Why Being An Old Soul Isn’t That Exciting

People are always fascinated with the phrase an Old Soul, but what does it really mean? One assumes that an Old Soul is wise, and is one that has lived through many incarnations and experiences. Yet, there are Old Souls (in the early steps) that are still learning, mainly through guiding and experiencing alternate perspectives. Most people like to think they are Old Souls when they aren’t because of the perceived image; some admit they are Young Souls and are content with that. That is a sign of an evolving Young Soul—one who can recognize they have a long way to go, and who will take their time. A true Old Soul is a great listener and speaks only to offer advice, never to dictate. Some are wise, others have more patience, most have the ability to communicate without dictating, and nearly all are reserved and keep their own private thoughts. That doesn’t mean they are necessarily introverted, but they keep their own counsel, and here, I share some of my own personal experiences only because I feel it may aid others.

An Old Soul will have experience and observed many events in their incarnations, and those of their Soul Group. In some ways they can seem blasé about things, not because they don’t care, but they know these painful lessons (for example, losing a member of the family in a tragic death, or being betrayed by a lover) will happen to all, and are a natural part of humanity. By knowing these things will occur, makes them appear less sympathetic in the eyes of others, when really it’s something they have witnessed countless times and they know why it needs to happen. Some maybe accused of being heartless or ruthless, whereas all they are doing is observing a repetition of events, and maintaining a clear and focused mind on how to deal with the situation.

I find an Old Soul, regardless of physical age, always seems to be moral and to do the right thing, because they know and understand the consequences of lying and Karma. I recall as a child I would always tell the truth, even if it meant the whole class getting punished. All I knew instinctively was to do what was right. Needless to say I ended up with very few friends at school as a result, and children couldn’t understand my need to do the right thing all of the time. I was always the one making black coffee for everyone as a teenager at a party to sober everyone up. Even in adulthood it has left me with conflicts among my peers, but an Old Soul cannot go against what they know deep down. The idea is to not to accumulate any more adverse Karma, but also to lead by example. Sometimes they can be the goody two shoes—the one that won’t follow a dare or an adolescent prank. They know better, but sometimes they concede, knowing the potential outcome, if only to be accepted by their peers. Childhood can be lonely without friends, and Old Soul children tend to be bullied or loners.

It can be a lonely existence as an Old Soul, but do not confuse them being unsociable with a need for space and solitude. What an Old Soul prefers is good company rather than company for the sake of it. I would rather be at home watching television than be at a party full of faux people, but a party with like-minded folks is a different matter. Old Souls aren’t always the loners they are made out to be—how would they guide or mentor others without any interactions? Instead they choose their company and environment wisely, and if it doesn’t suit, then they will move on.

In regards to work, being an employee can be hard for an Old Soul, not because they are better, but they can get frustrated more easily. Not all Old Souls have unlimited patience, which is why many do freelance, work for themselves, or make do and live on a small income. They know material things don’t matter (but they can make life more comfortable), and are willing to sacrifice material gains for freedom. One may say money does buy freedom, but only within limits. In my experiences as an employee, I have had to compromise my standards, integrity, and beliefs so as not to get fired. Eventually, an Old Soul will yearn to be free of these binds, although some fortunate ones find jobs that do give them this freedom or find a partner that enables a degree of freedom.

Being right all of the time can be burden. People tend to despise those who are cleverer than others, especially if they are employees. Many Old Souls must play down their roles and knowledge, a little like Clark Kent in Superman. Yet, a wise Old Soul knows when to say just enough, and to stay back, because others need to learn in their own way. It’s another lesson for the Old Soul to realize not everyone can see things as rationally or as logically as they can yet. That’s another reason why they prefer to be alone—if they cannot express themselves openly it’s best to be alone. It’s not a fear of not wishing to discuss their beliefs, but an Old Soul likes to use their time and knowledge wisely, and when it falls on deaf ears, that energy is best saved for another time and place. Many do become frustrated when others don’t listen to them (and they were right), and the Old Soul must choose whether to remain silent, or to persist. Personally, I only persist if there is danger, as in someone will be injured or harmed, otherwise I have learned silence (while hard) can be the better option than to be blamed, endure abuse, or to deal with arguments. I argue when I know I will win, however, human nature entails many despise losing or being proven wrong, and it causes rifts in relations. An important lesson is knowing how to maintain relations and to control them. Sometimes it’s wiser to let the other party figure discover things out by themselves and to just observe.

Old Souls do get disaffected, when they see Young Souls enjoying themselves because they find it harder to be less serious about life. They recall their past lives more readily, and have incarnated for specific purposes, and keep that in mind. That is not to say they cannot behave in a less serious manner, but they are more aware of the Soul Goals they need to complete, and many don’t wish to incarnate again to complete unfinished goals. As an Old Soul chooses to incarnate less frequently, it’s not a matter of time, but that they find more can be achieved in the Spiritual Realm. Many also don’t enjoy incarnations as much, because they are more aware of the pains of humanity they return to. On the physical plane their powers are more limited, and some feel more helpless, which is why when they do have an incarnation they are serious about their achievements. They can of course put their goals on hold and enjoy their incarnation, but eventually there will be a concentrated period where the goals to be fulfilled will arise.

An Old Soul incarnation in the latter stages can be a solitary one because of their serious goals; it maybe to guide and mentor certain Souls, and therefore those Souls are relying on them. It is a responsibility, much like a class of students who are relying on their teacher to help them pass all their exams. Sometimes an Old Soul cannot help themselves and they may seem boring, sensible, and predictable, but that’s because they have been through it all before and have already paid the price (Karma and learned those lessons) for impractical acts. Old Souls are still creative in their own way by using the knowledge they have amassed, but being an Old Soul means that they do know better. Even so, occasionally they go out on a limb and take a chance and see what Fate decides to dish out—they do let their hair down every now and then, but it comes at a cost. They usually know what that cost is beforehand and will anticipate and accept those consequences. That’s why many choose to play safe; an incarnation with less pain and grief is what most Old Souls prefer and choose to follow.

So why does an Old Soul choose to incarnate? They don’t have to, but many do so to assist other Soul Group members, and to mentor and guide evolving Souls. Once they are on the physical realm, they maybe called upon to assist others. That’s why many Old Souls are nomadic without any roots or attachments, as it is an incarnation of duty—to help out whenever there is a call. Naturally they have the free will to choose to walk away, and some do, not through inability, but many seek to assist those who will truly benefit from their time and support. An Old Soul is practical and likes to make the best use of their time—it can seem boring and unexciting, but they can see the bigger picture, always.

©2016. S.T. Alvyn. All Rights Reserved.